More post-as-letters, because that's what this kind of calls for.
Mar. 18th, 2007 03:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
active_apathyDear fifth glass of merlot,
you're mine. All mine. Resistance is futile (and really hard to clean up after, so please don't). Your tasteful essence, antioxidants, soft tannins, beautiful colour and 14.5% alcohol by volume shall be consumed 'ere the night is done, as will your brethren still in the bottle.
Bwahahaha, et cetera.
Yours drinkingly,
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
active_apathy
Dear man on escalator,
you probably think that ripped jeans are perennially fashionable. For some, they are. This, however, applies to specific kinds of tears.
When your jeans are torn in close proximity to the gluteal region, they're most definitely not fashionable.
Even so, I'll happily ignore your sartorial problems if you'll do one of two things: please, for the love of sunshine and rainbows and hugs and puppies and kitties and all things else, either (a) invest in some kind of sewing kit, or (b) wear underwear.
Scarred for life,
active_apathy
Dear retailers,
when installing a new point of sale system, favour the fuller form 'point of sale' on all notices visible to potential customers. A sign announcing the impending arrival of a new 'POS system' doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
Yours helpfully,
active_apathy
Dear government-owned public transport monopoly,
the number of people waiting for buses who secretly think "hey, if only I could be listening to The Barber of Seville right. now."?
Probably fewer than you think.
Yours adverbially,
active_apathy
Dear sixth glass of merlot,
you've made the bottle embarrasingly empty, but I'm probably not going to hold it against you.
Yours happily,
active_apathy
you're mine. All mine. Resistance is futile (and really hard to clean up after, so please don't). Your tasteful essence, antioxidants, soft tannins, beautiful colour and 14.5% alcohol by volume shall be consumed 'ere the night is done, as will your brethren still in the bottle.
Bwahahaha, et cetera.
Yours drinkingly,
active_apathyDear man on escalator,
you probably think that ripped jeans are perennially fashionable. For some, they are. This, however, applies to specific kinds of tears.
When your jeans are torn in close proximity to the gluteal region, they're most definitely not fashionable.
Even so, I'll happily ignore your sartorial problems if you'll do one of two things: please, for the love of sunshine and rainbows and hugs and puppies and kitties and all things else, either (a) invest in some kind of sewing kit, or (b) wear underwear.
Scarred for life,
active_apathyDear retailers,
when installing a new point of sale system, favour the fuller form 'point of sale' on all notices visible to potential customers. A sign announcing the impending arrival of a new 'POS system' doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
Yours helpfully,
active_apathyDear government-owned public transport monopoly,
the number of people waiting for buses who secretly think "hey, if only I could be listening to The Barber of Seville right. now."?
Probably fewer than you think.
Yours adverbially,
active_apathyDear sixth glass of merlot,
you've made the bottle embarrasingly empty, but I'm probably not going to hold it against you.
Yours happily,
active_apathy
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-03-17 11:59 pm (UTC)You seem to have lucked out in the merlot department, for the merlot I had last night was far too dry and almost bitter. It's okay, because I had some rather nice wine today.
yrs,
no subject
Date: 2007-03-18 01:05 pm (UTC)In fairness, I live in a country with an utterly fantastic wine industry. You have to be rather unlucky to get truly hideous wine here.
If you're interested, the one mentioned in this post was a 2004 Wyndham Estate merlot; their website suggests that it should be available in the US, if you wanted to go looking for it.
Rgds,