More post-as-letters, because that's what this kind of calls for.

[active_apathy]

Dear fifth glass of merlot,

you're mine. All mine. Resistance is futile (and really hard to clean up after, so please don't). Your tasteful essence, antioxidants, soft tannins, beautiful colour and 14.5% alcohol by volume shall be consumed 'ere the night is done, as will your brethren still in the bottle.

Bwahahaha, et cetera.

Yours drinkingly,
active_apathy



Dear man on escalator,

you probably think that ripped jeans are perennially fashionable. For some, they are. This, however, applies to specific kinds of tears.

When your jeans are torn in close proximity to the gluteal region, they're most definitely not fashionable.

Even so, I'll happily ignore your sartorial problems if you'll do one of two things: please, for the love of sunshine and rainbows and hugs and puppies and kitties and all things else, either (a) invest in some kind of sewing kit, or (b) wear underwear.

Scarred for life,
active_apathy



Dear retailers,

when installing a new point of sale system, favour the fuller form 'point of sale' on all notices visible to potential customers. A sign announcing the impending arrival of a new 'POS system' doesn't exactly inspire confidence.

Yours helpfully,
active_apathy



Dear government-owned public transport monopoly,

the number of people waiting for buses who secretly think "hey, if only I could be listening to The Barber of Seville right. now."?

Probably fewer than you think.

Yours adverbially,
active_apathy



Dear sixth glass of merlot,

you've made the bottle embarrasingly empty, but I'm probably not going to hold it against you.

Yours happily,
active_apathy