Sloooooooow Interwebbernargletubes

[active_apathy]

My Internets were just shaped for the last hour and twenty-seven minutes, which is a new experience for me: in other months, I either fit into my quota for the tubes or buy more so that I won't run out (which didn't really seem worthwhile 2 hours before my monthly nargletube ration refreshed).

Hence, this revelation: 64k is slow. Very slow. Incredibly slow. Slow enough that YouTube plays about a note or a syllable at a time. Slow enough that you're stuck reading a sidebar five or six times before the page text can render. Slow, almost as though the tubes have been filled with treacle. Slow enough that you have time in between pages to make up similes involving treacle. Internargles cannot move quickly through treacle. Somebody think of the internargles!

Happily, the tubes are again working at their proper speed. I think I'll go and hug my ADSL2+ now.

Comments

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I used to have a 1200baud modem on my first computer (purchased in 1994). I took that computer to college in 1996. Thank god no one used the intartubes, because even downloading an email took for-fucking-ever. I seem to recall hour-long waits. Now of course I could just copy and paste, but that never occurred to me then, and I'm not sure if it would work, given that I was using PINE.

In other words, you kids today with your 64K modems! You want slow, I'll show you slow! Hold still so I can smack you with my cane for your lip! I had to download all my data byte by byte, I had to WALK to the server to GET IT, and then I had to WALK HOME carrying the data, and it was five miles ONE WAY. And it was UPHILL both ways! And it was snowing! Even in July, it was snowing! If I wanted to print something, I had to carry it to the foundry, and they'd typeset it! But you had to bring your own letters! And they fooled us, which is why I've got that basement full of Kuurs that no one uses! I'm gonna smack you with one of those, right on your forehead! Now get off my lawn!

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

The first ever modem I used was a 1600 baud monstrosity; my school had a fanciful idea about using the intertubes, such as they were, in 1995.

My first nargletubes of my very own came in 1996, at a moſt fantaſtic 14.4kbps, on my first computer, which was also from 1994. And then there was 28.8, and 36.6, and FINE, SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO SET MY OWN GALLEYS, BUT STRIKE PRINTERS WEREN'T MUCH BETTER, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

You need to use the smaller more modern hamsters. The old-style hamsters get stuck in the tubes.