In Which An Invasion Is Discovered, But Certainly Not Thwarted

[active_apathy]

My home is being invaded by a spider. Where by 'spider' I mean 'ZOMGgiant spider'. And by 'invaded' I mean 'besieged'.

It's set up in the recycling bin, where - doubtless - it's using the materials deposited therein to fashion the engines and batteries it needs for the coming siege. And recruit spidery allies; one ZOMGgiant spider is quite enough, and two would be unstoppable. Especially once they've got their little spidery trebuchets and onagers and web shooters all sorted out.

(And since it's obviously a recycling spider. Put a glass over it, and it just gets some silica-based raw materials to make into additional weapons.)

This means two things. One: I may not be able to recycle again until the siege is over (except for building my own engines with which to lay countersiege to the arachnid foe), and two: if I see a large animal made of PET, paper, and tin-plated steel outside at any point, it's damn well staying there.

Comments

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

As with vampires, zombies, ghosts, serial killers, werewolves, kaiju insects, and mutant sheep, spider investigations should be put off until noon, when their power is weakest and dark hidey-holes are limited to sewers, basements and recycling bins.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

So you see the problem here, then. Not only is it in its lair, where it'll be strongest even at noon; it's got materials with which to fortify it.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

...when in doubt, kill it with fire.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Alas; destroying the recycling bin isn't an option.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

In that case I can only suggest heavy gloves, sturdy flat-soled boots, and a willingness to use them.

(or if it's merely unwelcome, a small broom for the purposes of shooing)

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

That's... altogether too close. And a broom has a stick that a crafty arachnid can use for torsion engines running at potential victims.

[palmer-kun.livejournal.com]