In Which An Invasion Is Discovered, But Certainly Not Thwarted

[active_apathy]

My home is being invaded by a spider. Where by 'spider' I mean 'ZOMGgiant spider'. And by 'invaded' I mean 'besieged'.

It's set up in the recycling bin, where - doubtless - it's using the materials deposited therein to fashion the engines and batteries it needs for the coming siege. And recruit spidery allies; one ZOMGgiant spider is quite enough, and two would be unstoppable. Especially once they've got their little spidery trebuchets and onagers and web shooters all sorted out.

(And since it's obviously a recycling spider. Put a glass over it, and it just gets some silica-based raw materials to make into additional weapons.)

This means two things. One: I may not be able to recycle again until the siege is over (except for building my own engines with which to lay countersiege to the arachnid foe), and two: if I see a large animal made of PET, paper, and tin-plated steel outside at any point, it's damn well staying there.

Comments

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

Is this a friendly spider, or a fiendly spider? I've had both in the house in the past week. The huntsman is still guarding one corner of the living room; the evol zomg which tried to build its empire on the spine of Roget's Thesaurus is now a smear on the doorstep (and my SOUL ugg boot sole.)

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

It's... er, big. And furry. Probably kind of huntsman sized, but still fairly big - like a huntsman bouncer, if it is. I think. My interest in investigating it is somewhat limited, especially while it's dark outside.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

As with vampires, zombies, ghosts, serial killers, werewolves, kaiju insects, and mutant sheep, spider investigations should be put off until noon, when their power is weakest and dark hidey-holes are limited to sewers, basements and recycling bins.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

So you see the problem here, then. Not only is it in its lair, where it'll be strongest even at noon; it's got materials with which to fortify it.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

...when in doubt, kill it with fire.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Alas; destroying the recycling bin isn't an option.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

In that case I can only suggest heavy gloves, sturdy flat-soled boots, and a willingness to use them.

(or if it's merely unwelcome, a small broom for the purposes of shooing)

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

That's... altogether too close. And a broom has a stick that a crafty arachnid can use for torsion engines running at potential victims.

[palmer-kun.livejournal.com]

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

I firmly endorse boiling oil as an anti-siege weapon.

(Also my brain now contains a bizarre dreamscape land where giant spiders spin trebuchets using passing undead for ammunition. Can we please have a portal into this place in New Falkensburg?)

[palmer-kun.livejournal.com]

As soon as you write it, it shall exist. Nobody is stopping you.

And it's just Regular Falkensburg. Old, if you will, but it can't be old unless there's a New, and there is no New. Well, not yet at least.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Why are you asking me? The game is about making stuff up!

Unless you mean a future game. In which case, a creepy horror world is a definite option for a theme.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Whee. Both : all concepts too freaky for Falkensburg can wait.