active_apathy | Just a short one, today.

And this is because there wasn't a lot to talk about from my Monday. Sad but true.

So, what is there? Firstly, there was a Dianetics ad on TV earlier. I was amused by this, since they're selling it as a self-help book. A self-help book by an author who famously claimed that the easiest way to make money is to start a religion. I'm considering offering an alternate title - maybe Jumping On Couches For Dummies.

But! That's of secondary importance. I've started playing NetHack again, and it's more fun than ever. Not that it ever wasn't fun, but every time I start playing it again I realise how much I've missed it. Just need to get out of the Gnomish Mines intact, one of these days. And maybe even Ascend, but that's not for ages and ages yet.

I've got a notion to play Rogue again. If you have a link for a win32-friendly Rogue binary, or for the Rogue source (how hard can it be to find a C compiler?), then please, please post it here.

And that's it for the moment. Off to go and set foot in the Dungeons of Doom all over again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

active-apathy.livejournal.com

So! You were saying something about text adventures...

From:

palmer-kun.livejournal.com

That's not even a nice try at evasion. That's not even a BAD try.

That's just... inexcusable, really.

I'm curious. What's so bad about being lovable?

Indulge me

From:

active-apathy.livejournal.com

I'm sorry. Usually, there's something else I can talk about while leaving the 'lovable' bit to die. meaning I can invisibly evade it.

What's so bad about is that I really don't think that I am. Rather than argue about it or deal with it, I just try to step around the whole issue and leave it entirely alone... which probably sounds entirely silly.

From:

palmer-kun.livejournal.com

Apology not accepted on the grounds that there's no reason for it.

Why don't you think you are?

It doesn't sound silly to me. It sounds like this topic brushes up against your comfort zone, and thus you should not feel obligated to answer it at all. Just call veto or something and the topic dies on the spot.

But yes... nothing silly about complete evasion of a topic like this. You don't really know how to handle the topic, so you simply avoid it comlpletely and let it pass by.

You are many things. Some you don't acknowledge or understand. Doesn't make them any less valid.

From:

active-apathy.livejournal.com

It was partly joking; I'd thought your criticism of my not-really-evasion was mostly joking.

And... I've never really thought about it. I just have this kind of assumption that I'm not really lovable, that's come from... somewhere, I suppose, and pretty much refuses to let go.

And the reason this makes me feel uncomfortable is because I really don't like to explain; it feels almost like I'm just out for compliments from people, and that's nothing close to the truth. That's the rest of why I let it pass by; because it's easier for me to let it pass and not feel like I'm out to shove other people into making me feel wanted.

So, no. I don't know how to handle the topic, because I'm somewhat scared of how easy it is to misread the explanation. I'm confident you won't, and trust you not to think it's all some special flavour of drama - and there's not very many people I'd say that about.

From:

palmer-kun.livejournal.com

It was mostly joking - your attempt at an evasion was too good to pass up. But I was also careful to cover my bets and make it clear afterwards that you could still skip out on the topic with ease. I should have said that before but I forgot - my bad. Either way, that's standard policy. Tell me to bugger off at any time for any (or no) reason and I will.

We all have assumptions about ourselves, and a good many of them are negative. Sadly, many of those are also completely baseless - to anybody other than ourselves. In many cases, when it comes to myself, I just feel that my complimentors are crazier than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide. Or at least terribly biased.

I would never suspect you of fishing for compliments. You just don't strike me as the type. That being said, I'm an easy person to get compliments from anyways - it's my nature to be free and generous with them, because so manya people are stingy and anal-retentive about them. If there's something nice I see about you, I'll tell you. Repeatedly. Just the way I am. I make people feel wanted because I do want people (in various meanings of the word) and don't hide the fact.

That all being said, I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm the same way with some things, though I usually have empirical evidence to back up my claims (not that anybody listens to it).

I do understand your worries about the ease of this sort of thing being misinterpreted. Hopefully it should be safe, buried this far down in your comments on an older entry.

I do have to wonder where your confidence about my ability to not misread this has come from though. I cannot claim to know you well enough to definitively declare whether or not you are in fact lovable (though I am sure that even if you are not generally lovable, I would personally find you quite lovable anyways). Our friendship is still new, so I naturally have to wonder where this belief about me has come from, especially if this is a very rare thing.

From:

active-apathy.livejournal.com

That's actually my standard policy, too. If you don't want to discuss something, then just say so.

And, again, that's vaguely similar. (You, by the way, strike me as intelligent, insightful and fun.)

If someone's reading this far, then they'll have followed the rest of the conversation. Oh, you're the first person to break my layout with a very long comment thread. *e-hug*

Again, you strike me as insightful and intelligent; not only that, but your curiosity sounds similar to mine. This makes me think that you're readily prepared to - and maybe even driven to - look beyond the obvious when something seems out of place; in this case, to look past what may seem to be fishing for compliments and try to understand the actual cause. Am I anywhere close to reality with this?

From:

palmer-kun.livejournal.com

The difference is, there's nothing I'm unwilling to answer or discuss. I live my life as an open book - anything goes, nothing is too private or off-limits. Yes, I know I'm crazy.

I am intelligent, and sometimes insightful. I don't think I'm all that fun though. Really, I'm quite a boring person all told. I'm a decent conversationalist and gamer, but that's about it. People seem to think I'm more interesting and fun than I actually am. Well, at least I bore myself to tears. Very little ever happens in my life of note, and most of it is bad anyways.

I get hugs for breaking your layout? *blushes brightly*

I try to be intelligent and insightful. I fail often though. My curiosity is usually kept under control, but it can be absolutely ruthless in some situations. I won't push unless I'm allowed, but when I am, I tend to skip pushing and digging, and go straight for drilling.

Of course, when someone starts fishing for compliments around me, for something I already know they are, my response tends to be a viscious verbal bludgeoning with my clue-by-four, driving home the point that yes, they damn well are ________ and they better believe it... or else. I'm not always a nice person when I'm trying to make a nice point like that :)

But yes, you're pretty dead on there. Am I really that easy to read?

From:

active-apathy.livejournal.com

Vicious.

And no, not really. It's just that it's exactly what you've been doing all through this thread. Someone had to pay attention to the conversation. :)

From:

palmer-kun.livejournal.com

Vicious? Perhaps. Not intentional, though.

So I have been completely transparent and obvious then :)

Good, that's how I like to be.

Though you haven't gotten the drilling treatment yet, nor the clueby-four, or anything I described.

All you've had is a gentle poke and prod.