Some things are harder than they look.

[active_apathy]

Here's one for you: I've never once written anything with sex in. Not once. So, when a request pops up for zero-gravity sex, interesting things happen - like that it ends up being late. Tomorrow, at best.

This makes me unhappy, but not as much so as delivering truly horrid fiction on time. The whooshing noise made by a deadline is only slightly preferable to writing something horrendous.

Add to this that I owe ryttu3k an RPG application that was supposed to be done two days ago, and my time management skills look really quite bad.

The good news is that once that's done, most of the things that ask for my time will be in a position where I can just maintain them without needing quite so much of an upfront investment of my time.

Now, on to what's actually in my notepad... a telemarketer, pressed and dried.

Well, not quite a telemarketer; one of the survey-researchy types. I shall reproduce the conversation here:

Telemarketer: Hi! I'm calling from suchandsuch on behalf of ACT policing. Do you have some time to answer some questions?
Me: No, sorry. I don't.
Telemarketer: It'll only take five minutes.
Me: No, I'm really not interested.
Telemarketer: Why not? It's only a short survey.
Me: Because I'm not. Do you need a reason? Is there a form that needs a reason on it?
Telemarketer: No, no form, but we do need to make sure we interview enough people to get an accurate picture.
Me: I doubt I'm enough to skew your sample space.
Telemarketer: It's very important. Would you like to answer the survey?
Me: No, I wouldn't.
Telemarketer: Why not?
Me: Because I don't want to. This really is going nowhere, isn't it.
Telemarketer: It really is a short survey. It won't take very long.
Me: I really don't want to answer it, no matter how long it takes. Who did you say it was for?
Telemarketer: The police.
Me: I don't have anything to do with them.
Telemarketer: That's why we need you to answer this survey.
Me: The survey that I don't want to answer?
Telemarketer: But it's important! The information will help the police.
Me: If they wanted me to give them information that'd help them, they'd call themselves. Or visit and ask for a cuppa.
Telemarketer: No, no, not like that. Please just answer the survey. It's not very long.
Me: Except that I don't ever have any contact with the police.
Telemarketer: That's exactly the kind of thing we need to know.
Me: And exactly the kind of thing I'd rather not answer.
Telemarketer: Only five minutes. Please answer it.
Me: I think I've already wasted that telling you I don't want to answer it.
Telemarketer: Why don't you want to answer it? It won't even take five minutes. I promise.
Me: Oh, fine. If it'll make you go away, bring forth the survey.
Telemarketer: This call will be recorded and may be used for training and quality control purposes. Is this ok?
Me: We can only live in hope.
Telemarketer: Um... Is that a yes?
Me: *sigh* Yes.

[Interlude of questions, mostly answered with 'Crime here is low', 'I feel safe', 'I haven't had any contact with the police', 'I have no car to speed in or have stolen' and variations on 'I don't know', 'I haven't a clue', and 'I just said I didn't know'.]

Telemarketer: Thankyou for answering the survey. *hangs up*
Me: *shouts inventive Mandarin swearing from Firefly into now-silent phone*

Would that there were a device to prompt others to repeatedly headdesk, usable over the telephone. Alas, we can only live in hope.

Comments

[riverchild.livejournal.com]

You're far too polite for this world. A lesser woman would have broken out the Mandarin invective round about the sixth line.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Well, sometimes, I just have to think to myself: what would Joss do?

And then I realise that this is silly to use as a moral compass, and hope that whatever it is ends quickly.