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Let me restate this: I don't like spiders.
Some, I can ignore, trusting that they're harmless. Others, I coexist with since they're too big for me to want to be near them.
One of the latter kind was standing on the wall above the shower this morning.
Let's just run through a quick list of things spiders can do:
So, I'm there in the shower. I'm warm, somewhat content, rapidly becoming cleaner and ever so slightly terrified by the creepy eight-legged thing standing above me and staring. Honestly, I should've gotten the hint when it was fighting to keep its footing as steam condensed on its patch of wall.
And then, it fell.
I don't remember opening my shower door. I don't remember closing my shower door. I do remember finding myself standing on the opposite side of it, then timidly opening it again to turn the water off. It didn't seem terribly impressed, either; the big, grumpy and slightly damp spider clambered back up the wall to make a little home between my shampoo and conditioner, and that's ok, I can always buy more if it really wants them.
It's moved to a different corner, now. It's by the towel rail.
Waiting.
And so, a bit later, I did the only thing that makes sense in such a situation.
I went out and bought myself a copy of Super Mario64 DS. I'm especially interested in the way they write it, because Mario64 expands as:
Mario1 × Mario2 × Mario3 × Mario4 × … × Mario62 × Mario63 × Mario64
It sounds like particularly scary fanfic.
Still, it's Fun thus far. Yay Yoshi! Yay minigames!
...
Yay getting used to moving with the touch screen!
Some, I can ignore, trusting that they're harmless. Others, I coexist with since they're too big for me to want to be near them.
One of the latter kind was standing on the wall above the shower this morning.
Let's just run through a quick list of things spiders can do:
- Stand on walls
- Stand on ceilings
- Some can jump
- Most can bite
- They're fast
- They have exceptional reflexes
- They're incredibly strong, for their size
- They can spin webs
- Any size!
- They can catch thieves just like flies
So, I'm there in the shower. I'm warm, somewhat content, rapidly becoming cleaner and ever so slightly terrified by the creepy eight-legged thing standing above me and staring. Honestly, I should've gotten the hint when it was fighting to keep its footing as steam condensed on its patch of wall.
And then, it fell.
I don't remember opening my shower door. I don't remember closing my shower door. I do remember finding myself standing on the opposite side of it, then timidly opening it again to turn the water off. It didn't seem terribly impressed, either; the big, grumpy and slightly damp spider clambered back up the wall to make a little home between my shampoo and conditioner, and that's ok, I can always buy more if it really wants them.
It's moved to a different corner, now. It's by the towel rail.
Waiting.
And so, a bit later, I did the only thing that makes sense in such a situation.
I went out and bought myself a copy of Super Mario64 DS. I'm especially interested in the way they write it, because Mario64 expands as:
Mario1 × Mario2 × Mario3 × Mario4 × … × Mario62 × Mario63 × Mario64
It sounds like particularly scary fanfic.
Still, it's Fun thus far. Yay Yoshi! Yay minigames!
...
Yay getting used to moving with the touch screen!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-01-03 04:58 am (UTC)lol-ing here.
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:02 am (UTC)At the time, I wasn't.
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:20 am (UTC)A few weeks ago, I'm walking down the basement steps. I look up, and at eye level, about an inch away, is a spider that is TWO INCHES ACROSS. I also don't remember levitating off the steps and back up to the landing. The next thing I remember is hyperventilating.
Poor damp, grumpy spider, though. Probably didn't enjoy that any more than you did.
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 05:27 am (UTC)If I met one that big, it could have the *house.* I'd sure never be willing to go back inside....
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:32 am (UTC)*Or, at least, that's what I use them for. They're supposed to be for storage, but their size and shape pretty much perfect for use as a mixing bowl made of clear plastic.
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:25 am (UTC)Those reflexes? I hate those. I went to squish a gigantic spider in the computer room the other night. I had one of my thongs (the rubber flip flop kind, not the kind with the lace that feels nice in my jeans) in hand, and was just about to squish him when...he jumped. He pushed off from the wall, tucked his little spider legs in, and would have given me the spider finger if t'were possible.
So I used roughly 3/4 of a can of bug spray on the little bastard. I hate arachnids with an attitude.
You squished yours, right? If you make him an example, the others will leave you alone. Think of it like this - It's like shanking a really disgusting inmate who eats flies on your first day at prison!
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Date: 2006-01-03 05:34 am (UTC)I didn't squish either. See the above comment for details.
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Date: 2006-01-03 07:48 am (UTC)I SO feel your pain with spiders. I had something similar happen to me once... only I had a headful of shampoo suds. After waiting until I was almost DRY to see if the spider would move, I gave up and washed my hair out in the sink.
They do this on purpose... just to test to see who's boss. O.o
Jen
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Date: 2006-01-03 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 08:06 am (UTC)I don't rememberwaking up and screaming, but that was definately what happed.
*shudder*
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Date: 2006-01-03 01:46 pm (UTC)Getting out of bed was very, very easy today.
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Date: 2006-01-03 02:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 09:32 am (UTC)Also, the shower is the worst place to find a spider. Even worse than a dangling spider (provided you don't actually run into it). Something about being naked and confronted with something that can jump on you if it wanted...*shudder, twitch, sympathize*
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Date: 2006-01-03 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 01:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 03:41 am (UTC)I hate spiders with the burning hatred of a thousand suns. THEY ARE UNNATURAL. I would move to Antarcica if I was guaranteed no spiders! (Of course, I'm not that much better with insects. Once a stick insect jumped on to my keyboard in the dark, I screamed and nearly knocked myself out when I LEAPT out of my chair.)
Also, the only two dreams I've had where I woke up screaming included spiders. In one of them, I was actually at home (in the dream) and the spider was in my room. I screamed and ran out, slammed the door shut, and a few minutes later peeked at the door - only for the spider to LAUNCH ITSELF AT MY FACE. I woke up shrieking my lungs out and RAN out of my room and downstairs in my t-shirt and undies. I don't even REMEMBER running out my room - just waking up screaming and then being downstairs. THAT is the fight or flight syndrome!
Um. I think I just used you as a therapist...
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Date: 2006-01-04 03:49 am (UTC)My spider's camped out on the curtains of my bedroom window at the moment. This makes me not happy.
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Date: 2006-01-04 04:14 am (UTC)One day I will design a house that includes tanks of bug spray that goes through the air conditioning.
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Date: 2006-01-04 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 05:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 05:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-05 07:26 am (UTC)Has the spider moved out yet?
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Date: 2006-01-05 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:08 pm (UTC)(Incidentally? Spider free for 3 days! Whee!)
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:27 pm (UTC)Translated: I haven't a clue. :)
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:29 pm (UTC)K.
^_^
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:36 pm (UTC)Don't I feel dumb.
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:45 pm (UTC)They do all that and we don't even thank them. In fact, the only time we ever address even them is when we are swearing at the lack of them. My question is, where do they go?
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 08:52 pm (UTC)Yea, the time has come, it is almost 5 in the morning and I have yet to sleep. This talk has been most delightful. Do you mind if I friend you? Well good cos I'm doing it.
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:53 pm (UTC)(Your question, by the way, is answered in my userinfo... OF DOOM.)
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:54 pm (UTC)I had read that, but I felt I should say something before randomly friending you.
^_^
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Date: 2006-02-18 08:59 pm (UTC)