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I've come to the conclusion that I should probably keep appropirate* clothes near to the door in future. I can imagine very few instances where answering the door half-dressed is advantageous; yes, it scares off fundies, but doesn't dissuade salesmen. The final nail in that coffin is that I'm not aware of the existence of an Association for Random Hot Homosexual Sex, further limiting the situations where partial nakedness is helpful at the door.
Take today, for instance. It's 11:30, and not very long after waking from a particularly enjoyable sleep-in. Suddenly, there came a rapping as of someone violently whapping, as of someone violently whapping, whapping at my abode's door. And so, I open it in a kind of half-asleep haze that kills useful things like second thoughts, dressed in little more than a t-shirt, hair proudly declaring that I've slept well and haven't yet remembered where I left my brush**.
Turns out, there's two of them. Boys, both. About sixteen-ish, both. They make ready to speak as I open the door, then stop, and frantically gesture trying to work out who's actually going to say something. My eyes roll in as un-merry a manner as can be. One eventually braves that undiscovered realm of human speech.
"Um... we... uh... accidentally kicked... um... our ball... um... over the... uh... fence."
I nod, tell them to wait while I get it for them, and then go to do so - stopping to slip on a pair of pants, partly as protection for my legs against pointy bits of affectionate dogs. Stepping outside, I find their ball, and take it back to the door.
And find the doorstep deserted. Oh, yay. So, I go back outside, and there they are, engaged in an activity best described as a blend of impatient hopping and vocal tittering. I promptly throw their ball at them - and none too badly, either. It flies reasonably well, they seem to die from surprise (seriously, grow up), and then it hits the telephone line.
Did I mention grr?
So, I collect the ball again and fumble it badly. It assaults a tomato plant under the coercive influence of gravity. Also grr.
I collect the ball once more, and then just hold the damned thing out over the fence. They stare, confused; I glare pointedly and give them a few seconds more, then just drop it, walk away, hug my puppies, and go inside.
Later on, the postman comes. Finally. Normally, here, they start delivering post on weekends and twice on weekdays. My postman has come up with a revolutionary innovation that forever changes the face of this tradition - no weekends, and only every second weekday. The theory I'm working on at the moment is that a neighbour must be threatening to string piano wire across the footpath on Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends out of sheer hatred of the noise of the postman's bike.
Later again, I went to have a good, close look at my cherry trees****. They seem to have cute but tiny red cherries, which on later inspection aren't quite ripe yet. They also seem to have a complex and intricate little ecosystem built up around them.
Cherry trees grow. The ants munch on some of the cherries. The spiders feed on the ants. The birds feast on cherries and spiders. I would like to take some of the cherries, but the few ripe ones seem to have been shared between ants and birds... or have creepy little spiders crawling on them with murderous intent lurking in their eyes - and with that many eyes, murderous intent really starts to add up.
So, in conclusion... does anyone have any idea how to properly look after cherry trees? I'm of the opinion that may help fix the 'tiny' part of that. Any directions or advice must be understandable to a person who has no real understanding of gardening - ie, me.
*for the benefit of those who haven't yet seen me use 'appropirate', it's not a typo. Wave your mouse over it. :)
**it was filed on the little bookcase beside my desk, between Cascading Style Sheets: The definitive guide and Learning Java***. Um... yay me?
***which is something I haven't actually convinced myself to do, despite getting the $90 book 'free' almost a year ago.
****I say 'mine'. The last person to live here planted the things, but they're mine now! Bwahaha. Or something.
Take today, for instance. It's 11:30, and not very long after waking from a particularly enjoyable sleep-in. Suddenly, there came a rapping as of someone violently whapping, as of someone violently whapping, whapping at my abode's door. And so, I open it in a kind of half-asleep haze that kills useful things like second thoughts, dressed in little more than a t-shirt, hair proudly declaring that I've slept well and haven't yet remembered where I left my brush**.
Turns out, there's two of them. Boys, both. About sixteen-ish, both. They make ready to speak as I open the door, then stop, and frantically gesture trying to work out who's actually going to say something. My eyes roll in as un-merry a manner as can be. One eventually braves that undiscovered realm of human speech.
"Um... we... uh... accidentally kicked... um... our ball... um... over the... uh... fence."
I nod, tell them to wait while I get it for them, and then go to do so - stopping to slip on a pair of pants, partly as protection for my legs against pointy bits of affectionate dogs. Stepping outside, I find their ball, and take it back to the door.
And find the doorstep deserted. Oh, yay. So, I go back outside, and there they are, engaged in an activity best described as a blend of impatient hopping and vocal tittering. I promptly throw their ball at them - and none too badly, either. It flies reasonably well, they seem to die from surprise (seriously, grow up), and then it hits the telephone line.
Did I mention grr?
So, I collect the ball again and fumble it badly. It assaults a tomato plant under the coercive influence of gravity. Also grr.
I collect the ball once more, and then just hold the damned thing out over the fence. They stare, confused; I glare pointedly and give them a few seconds more, then just drop it, walk away, hug my puppies, and go inside.
Later on, the postman comes. Finally. Normally, here, they start delivering post on weekends and twice on weekdays. My postman has come up with a revolutionary innovation that forever changes the face of this tradition - no weekends, and only every second weekday. The theory I'm working on at the moment is that a neighbour must be threatening to string piano wire across the footpath on Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends out of sheer hatred of the noise of the postman's bike.
Later again, I went to have a good, close look at my cherry trees****. They seem to have cute but tiny red cherries, which on later inspection aren't quite ripe yet. They also seem to have a complex and intricate little ecosystem built up around them.
Cherry trees grow. The ants munch on some of the cherries. The spiders feed on the ants. The birds feast on cherries and spiders. I would like to take some of the cherries, but the few ripe ones seem to have been shared between ants and birds... or have creepy little spiders crawling on them with murderous intent lurking in their eyes - and with that many eyes, murderous intent really starts to add up.
So, in conclusion... does anyone have any idea how to properly look after cherry trees? I'm of the opinion that may help fix the 'tiny' part of that. Any directions or advice must be understandable to a person who has no real understanding of gardening - ie, me.
*for the benefit of those who haven't yet seen me use 'appropirate', it's not a typo. Wave your mouse over it. :)
**it was filed on the little bookcase beside my desk, between Cascading Style Sheets: The definitive guide and Learning Java***. Um... yay me?
***which is something I haven't actually convinced myself to do, despite getting the $90 book 'free' almost a year ago.
****I say 'mine'. The last person to live here planted the things, but they're mine now! Bwahaha. Or something.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 06:23 am (UTC)*sends love, squishes, and not-so-random kisses*
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 06:23 am (UTC)But investing in a pair of gardening gloves is nice. You can do almost anything in a pair of rugged leather gloves :).
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:30 am (UTC)Thanks kindly. Remember, it must be in not-gardener-speak.
Almost anything. Anything but moving your fingers, really. Investing in riggers gloves gives protection and dexterity.
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:46 am (UTC)*squints at various images of gloves, gardening and riggers*
Ah. When I was a kid, my parents were involved in a winery, including pruning and harvest. What I've always thought of as "proper gardening gloves" are actually riggers gloves. My bad. So, yes, get those (if you don't already have them).
More tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 06:50 am (UTC)*nods* Gardening gloves are typically very bulky, and make life difficult. Riggers gloves are comfortable, fit properly, are designed for freedom of movement and afford better protection. :)
And, again, thanks!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-15 05:38 am (UTC)Sounds like
So I got a little bit of advice from my mum (and a question or two for you, too). With the ants, banding the tree trunks is probably the most effective, and doesn't involve spraying chemicals around. Banding is applying a ring of sticky stuff (such as these products around the trunk, near the base. The ants then get stuck as they try to climb up the tree. (Note: this only works if other, higher, parts of the tree aren't touching - f'rinstance - a fence which the ants can climb up. As I soon learned with my lemon tree). And don't worry about the spiders, spiders are
godgood, spiders eat insects and don't eat fruit, etc. Bird netting if the birds are eating too much of the crop.For more specific cherry-loving advice, where do you live? And what kind of conditions are the trees in? Obviously things like seasonal temperatures and rainfall have an effect on how a tree fares, and what you can do to fix problems. (If you want to take all this talk of cherry trees to email rather than narrower and narrower text boxes, that's fine - deepfishy [at] hotmail [dot] com)
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Date: 2005-12-16 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 06:30 am (UTC)I am tempted just to metaquote that word. With the alt-tag (that is an alt-tag, isn't it?)
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:34 am (UTC)The magic code for it is <span title="yarr!">appropirate</span>
That said, it works for almost any tag - i, b, tt, em, strong, kbd, img, div, li, ol, ul, blockquote... the (unordered) list goes on.
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:46 am (UTC)I have no idea how to care for cherry trees. You are on your own with that. I know how to take care of roses though. Not that that's particularly helpful, but it's true.
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:56 am (UTC)That stands to reason, seeing as how you're not very fond of cherries. Still! If ever I feel the need to grow roses, you'll be the first person I ask.
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 06:52 am (UTC)There probably is, but I haven't got any way of knowing if it's his very special idea of fun or some kind of new postal dogma or that by pure coincidence no-one in my street gets mail on tuesdays or thursdays.
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Date: 2005-12-14 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 10:28 am (UTC)My parents always put netting over their cherry tree to protect said cherries from the magpies. Otherwise, we never get any.
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Date: 2005-12-14 03:56 pm (UTC)Birds haven't worried me too much this year; they've only eaten the ones on top, which I can't get to anyway. I will, however, keep it in mind.
Hi, darlin'...
Date: 2005-12-14 11:58 am (UTC)I get gardening advice over at www.yougrowgirl.com. Lots of nice knowledgable people who don't mind dumbing things down for other not-so-knowledgeable folks. One thing- post a picture of our cherry tree if possible so at least they know what kind of cherry they're dealing with. And let them know about where you are in Oz- it's a bit Canadian heavy there and they don't always realize which zone you've got.
Sigh- I wish I had cherries- all I have is snow and more snow, with some snow on the edges.
Re: Hi, darlin'...
Date: 2005-12-14 03:51 pm (UTC)Re: Hi, darlin'...
Date: 2005-12-14 04:01 pm (UTC)Like this one.
Re: Hi, darlin'...
Date: 2005-12-14 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 07:44 pm (UTC)I will refrain from giving advice on trees, because whatever I would tell you to do would probably kill them.
Did I say 'probably'? I meant 'definitely'.
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Date: 2005-12-14 07:51 pm (UTC)I'll keep it in mind not to ask, bearing in mind that people are more your thing.
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Date: 2005-12-16 03:15 pm (UTC)Actually, considering how things are going on that front, I might not be the best person to ask about that either. *kicks schoool*
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Date: 2005-12-19 12:55 am (UTC)So. I see now. If this one entry is any kind of indication, I can very easily see indeed. I'm sure I'll be neither the first nor last to offer a compliment on the way you take thoughts and words and turn them into prose. There're a lot of people who can string a few sentences together, but someone who can put together a paragraph like the one on the cherry tree ecosystem... That's a rare and wonderful thing.
So thank you very much for sharing it. :-)
And... uh... If you -do- find evidence of an Association for Random Hot Homosexual Sex... Give a girl a heads-up, would ya?
no subject
Date: 2005-12-19 01:55 am (UTC)You're not the first, but consultation with my crystal ball to try to tell if you just might be the last failed when I took note of the fact it was just an overturned salad bowl.
For all that... you're very much welcome. :)
If I do find one... well, I'll have to forget. Otherwise, it wouldn't be random anymore.