![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Yes, that's right! But first, let's get through the texty parts of it. This post is mostly about the perils of xmas shopping.
Let's start with the shop sign proudly declaring that there's 23 shopping days until xmas. 23!
I'll give you all a moment, and...
EXTRA DAYS! First you give 'em Sunday trading, and then they start trying to slip whole extra days into the calendar. We won't stand for it!
Or they'll invest in more chalk. One of the two. I'm betting on the chalk.
In other news, Westfield signs still offend me with their inconsistent spacing and punctuation. There's another serious issue that they've inspired me to write things about, but that's for Another Post.
Next! The aforementioned part of the dreaded Westfield chain has decided to put Santa right next to Muffin Break.
That'll do wonders for their advertising. "Look, kiddies, if you sit around with a workforce of elvish slaves and then get pulled about by reindeer all year, then that's what muffins do to you."
But there's more news than a muffin addict in unseasonal clothes today, such as people who think it's intelligent to stand in thoroughfares and converse loudly. If you feel the need for some conversatin', then you have two options. One is to do it in any of a million out-of-the-way spots cunningly provided by the architect, builders and centre management.
The other option is DEATH BY SLAYING.
One of these is more fun for me, and provides much-needed exercise. The other keeps you happy and healthy, and keeps me out of gaol. Got it?
And now, pictures!
Imagine, if you will...
!
You could at least wait for something to imagine. Let's start with someone who's waiting for a bus, and is fairly happy. Here she is now!
She's standing on the side of a road,
at a bus stop.
And this mystery person is...
except that I'm not a smiley face. Now, I just happened to be waiting for a bus, which goes something like this.
And suddenly, wind comes along like this.
The problem here comes from the difference between the ideal angle to watch for the bus, and the wind direction, shown here.
As you can see, they're wildly different. This is what always happens, and it has the following effect.
This makes me far less personable, and may result in threats of DEATH BY SLAYING.
ONE DAY I WILL CATCH BUSES NO MORE, AND THEN I WILL LAUGH AT THE VICTIMS OF THE WIND! HAHAHAHA!
And then I'll probably take pity on them, and feel guilty for my moment of schadenfreude, then forget it all with a chocolate or something because mmmmmchocolate.
And that's it for this post. Yay!
Let's start with the shop sign proudly declaring that there's 23 shopping days until xmas. 23!
I'll give you all a moment, and...
EXTRA DAYS! First you give 'em Sunday trading, and then they start trying to slip whole extra days into the calendar. We won't stand for it!
Or they'll invest in more chalk. One of the two. I'm betting on the chalk.
In other news, Westfield signs still offend me with their inconsistent spacing and punctuation. There's another serious issue that they've inspired me to write things about, but that's for Another Post.
Next! The aforementioned part of the dreaded Westfield chain has decided to put Santa right next to Muffin Break.
That'll do wonders for their advertising. "Look, kiddies, if you sit around with a workforce of elvish slaves and then get pulled about by reindeer all year, then that's what muffins do to you."
But there's more news than a muffin addict in unseasonal clothes today, such as people who think it's intelligent to stand in thoroughfares and converse loudly. If you feel the need for some conversatin', then you have two options. One is to do it in any of a million out-of-the-way spots cunningly provided by the architect, builders and centre management.
The other option is DEATH BY SLAYING.
One of these is more fun for me, and provides much-needed exercise. The other keeps you happy and healthy, and keeps me out of gaol. Got it?
And now, pictures!
Imagine, if you will...
!
You could at least wait for something to imagine. Let's start with someone who's waiting for a bus, and is fairly happy. Here she is now!
She's standing on the side of a road,
at a bus stop.
And this mystery person is...
except that I'm not a smiley face. Now, I just happened to be waiting for a bus, which goes something like this.
And suddenly, wind comes along like this.
The problem here comes from the difference between the ideal angle to watch for the bus, and the wind direction, shown here.
As you can see, they're wildly different. This is what always happens, and it has the following effect.
This makes me far less personable, and may result in threats of DEATH BY SLAYING.
ONE DAY I WILL CATCH BUSES NO MORE, AND THEN I WILL LAUGH AT THE VICTIMS OF THE WIND! HAHAHAHA!
And then I'll probably take pity on them, and feel guilty for my moment of schadenfreude, then forget it all with a chocolate or something because mmmmmchocolate.
And that's it for this post. Yay!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:28 am (UTC)Also, the smiley has much shorter hair than I do, so the effect is less pronounced in the picture.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 06:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:49 am (UTC)And, yes. I very much sympathise with the whole seeing things issue.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 06:27 am (UTC)Okay, maybe not so much the mittens but I'm sure you know about the hair-in-the-mouth effect.
(and I'm totally comment-spamming you. sorry!)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 06:33 am (UTC)And almost swallowing hair when sneezing insanely is Very Bad.
(That's ok. Commentspam is fun, and I have gmail.)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 06:45 am (UTC)Consider yourself fortunate that you don't/can't have a beard. I'm beginning to suspect that the hairs that form my beard are actually alive and fear the cold enough to constantly seek refuge in my mouth. Yuk.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 11:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 02:38 pm (UTC)Everyone else will look on in terror, and run to get out of even the slightest breeze.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:21 pm (UTC)I have similar issues when walking from the parking lot to class - inevitably the wind blows my hair in directions that it should not be blown. And since it is long and curly, it ends up looking like I've stuck a fork in an electric socket by the time I'm actually in class.
Those big hairclippy things are my friends.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 05:59 pm (UTC)It seems everyone agrees. Wind is teh evil for we long-haired folk.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-06 10:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-06 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-07 03:02 am (UTC)...I am so intellectually challenged. :(