I'm Back!

[active_apathy]

Yes, that's right! I'm back. Back from hours of variously napping and reading on the way home. Back from some thrilling heroics hospitality. Back from... well, stuff.

And what am I going to talk about now? Books, obviouslyⁱ. And there might be a poll, and some current events.

Firstly, though, a quick bit about the Event. It was fun. The food was good, everyone was happy, someone figured the corkscrew out, they embarrassingly surprised me with chocolate cake since I get older next month, and Jim ran away from meeeeeeee I ran out of bourbon. It was a fun turnout - family, friends of family, various other friendfolk, a good supply of likable relatives, my horrid grandparents, my affable and personable Jossparents, and the aforementioned slightly-less-than-half-a bottleⁱⁱ.

So! My miniature supply of reading material for this journey consisted of Neil Gaiman's Stardust, jimbutcher's Blood Rites and Lynne Truss's Talk to the Hand - The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door)ⁱⁱⁱ.

Stardust was lovelyfun™. It's amusing, fun, entertaining, and makes use of the word 'fuck' in ridiculously small type. I'm not going to say much more about it, since half of you^vii have read it and all the others should, unless you take grand offense to the word 'fuck' in ridiculously small type^viii.

If you call that a spoiler, then I'm stealing your nose and never ever ever giving it back.

Blood Rites is the sixth book in the Dresden Files series, and follows yet another adventure of professional wizard Harry Dresden. Again, it's entertaining and fun, and has all the best things about all of the rest of the series. All I need to do now is find myself a copy of the seventh book, and then write polite emails and comments to Mr Butcher to ask him to please write more books, right this very second if that's not too inconvenient and he doesn't have other plans and he's not too terribly busy. Except I'll keep it all very short, so that he can have more time to write books while I'm sending similar emails to Messrs Gaiman and Nix^x.

Talk to the Hand - The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door) is a book with a very long title amusing in the vein of Eats, Shoots and Leaves - The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation^xi. It had me laughing, when I wasn't busy bemoaning the lack of manners in those damned youngsters   old people   those horrible things on TV   that filth on the electric wireless   society the modern world. And, um, yes. Very entertaining. I may have to take up her suggestion about mobile phones, too, just because it sounds very, very fun^xii. There's no swearing, but 'Eff' is used a lot^xiv.

And, um, yes. Current events! I have to wake up early in the morning to go and learn stuff. Early, here, is being defined as 6:30am^xv. The stuff is being defined as things like making coffee, pouring beer and recognising when someone is too drunk so that they can be given a funnel for the vodka politely asked to go home. And that's about it for current events, actually, which means I can get around to something which I've been meaning to get around to ever since I've meant to get around to it^xvi.

So now, we have a poll. Wheee!

[Poll #606310]

And that's about it for now^xx. Keep reading for more of this - different <lj-time>, same <lj-station>.

1. It doesn't make sense to me, either, and I'm writing it.
2. I'm all for precise measurements, when it's other people doing the precise measuring and figuring out what to do with it.
3. At this point, normal folk would consider abbreviating this title. Well. Hoo-ray for them^iv.
4. Does that count as utter bloody rudeness?^v
5. For that matter, does the phrase 'utter bloody rudeness' reek of utter bloody rudeness to anyone else?^vi
6. My Joss, now I'm doing it and I'm not even British.
7. Yeah, yeah. Precision.
8. In which case I've already offended you. Just maybe, if I talk about the book enough, you may just be forever hardened to miniaturised swearing^ix.
9. And then I might just have to have a lie down. All this public service is hard work.
10. See? I'm being good. I didn't footnote this whole paragra- *headdesk*
11. Which also has a long title, but is about punctuation, not manners. And the other book with the long title which I'm not typing here despite having already given it a longer name than it properly has is about manners, not punctuation. While proper punctuation is mandatory a specific case of good manners, it's hard to punctuate with manners_{could you all please stop reading the sentence at this point, thankyou.}
12. No, I'm not saying more. OMJnonfictionspoilers!11!1!1!!1eleventyonemillioneleventyonethousandandeleventyone^xiii!
13. Please remind me to never ever ever do that again.
14. Should I suggest people Effing get used to it?
15. ... it's early for me!
16. Um... sorry?^xvii
17. I am really, truly, honestly and completely sober.^xviii
18. Just not entirely sane, perchance^xix.
19. And who says 'perchance', anyway?
20. Too. Many. Footnotes. My post could collapse. The poll is in danger.

Comments

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

Swearing as required, but I do love it when an author takes the time to come up with some really creative phrases. Even if they're ruttin' fake-swears. My favourite, though, definitely has to be "-ing", Mr Tulip's -ing speech impediment.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Is he the one that ----ing hates ----ing wizards, and therefore shouldn't ---- them then?

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

Ha! I remember that book! Had the vampire photographer, didn't it? (Or am I getting confused?) ---ing funny.

[jennisis.livejournal.com]

I <3 your icon!

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

I love yours. KITTY!

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling Pterry reused that joke, because I distinctly remember it from Mort, with some gang from the Shades (involving "***ing" or the like).

Mr Tulip is the larger half of the New Firm in The Truth; Mr Pin being the smarter half.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

OMGWTFspoilers! :)

(I'm not up to that end of the Discworld books yet)

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

*claps hands over mouth*

I'm up to date on the front end, but still need to read the first few. Where are you up to?

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

The last one I read was Guards! Guards!.

[jennisis.livejournal.com]

I have decided that I must read the book with the ridiculously long title that I am not going to type here since you have typed it several times above (I will instead refer to it merely as "the book of manners"), because apparently we are working off of the same reading list. I have just finished Stardust and enjoyed the use of the word 'fuck' in ridiculously small type. Now I am somewhere between 1/3 and half-way through Blood Rites. Whee!

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

TttH - TUBRoEL (osgrtshabtd) is a very good read, especially for those who liked ES&L. And Blood Rites is fun. And I very much liked Stardust.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

Yay you're back! And you have books for me to read!! Oh wait, that's not a good thing, as that will interfere with my studying and, more imporantly, my NaNo-ing. Bad active_apathy!

Footnotes = Fun.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Upside-down Panda! Eeeeee!

[theshadowlurker.livejournal.com]

I feel all young-like now.

[eighthcloud.livejournal.com]

I missed you.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

And I missed you.

[jetsam-porridge.livejournal.com]

WHY do the ages only go in fives? I had to round mine DOWN. :(

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

*is sad, too*

I worked hard for those extra 2 years, dammit! (well...didn't die, anyway)

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

The ages only go in fives because you're only allowed 20 options for a scale. I had to round mine up.

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

I think our other comment thread broke.

I have much heartage for Lynne Truss. I may have to make a special trip to Dymocks soon, because not only do I need That Book That You Mentioned With The Long Title That I Can't Be Bothered Scrolling Up To Check, but also John Marsden has released another book, and every time John Marsden releases a new book my inner teenager demands it.

It's raining, by the way. All that heat when the poor horsies were running around all last week, and today it's raining.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

It most likely did. It was a very, very long comment thread. Still, a broken comment thread can't stop the signal.

I'm all in favour of your special trip to Dymocks, for Talk to the Hand ... (...) is quite an amusing read. However, I've yet to see it in an actual bookshop; my copy came from Big W instead, leaving me rather confusified.

It's raining for me, too. Not that there's horsies here, mind you.

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

This is true. There is always another comment thread to be... threaded.

I saw TttH at Borders yesterday, but did not buy it, as I was rather low on funds. Besides, I have a Dymocks Booklovers card; if I buy books there I get points towards discounts on future books. I was at Big W myself today and didn't see it there, although admittedly I didn't think to look for it; I was clothes shopping for summer. Their selection of sandals leaves something to be desired, such as, well, my size. Their size 10 is not the same size 10 as I take, apparently, being too small; however, their size 11 is too large.

Stupid feet.

Being in Melbourne rather gives us the monopoly on the horsies, I think. Hence it being Melbourne Cup Day. And having worked that day, I think I can say with some authority that it does not actually stop the entire nation, particularly those bits of it who want to go and see Fiddler on the Roof in Sydney or Billy Connolly in Perth.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

Then thread we shall! It shall be the warp to the Interweft.

I also have one of their Booklover cards, though it's their shiny new version where you get points that turn into store credit. Have they brought that one in for Victoria yet, or are you still waiting on it?

Melbourne has a bit of a monopoly, and what's not there is in Sydney. The spring carnival at Flemington certainly does more stopping than a meeting at Rosehill or Randwick, though it is truly piteous to hear you couldn't be part of the intense silence of a country of punters trying not to make any noise at all.

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

I didn't receive the comment notificiation for your latest addition to this thread, thus explaining my prolonged absence from it. Silly LJ notifier-thing.

I just built up enough Booklover points to acquire a $5 store credit voucher. Now I need to decide what to spend it on. I'd better wait until after Christmas though, Mum really doesn't like it when I buy books just before Christmas that she's already bought me for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I'd really like to get your snail-mail address to send you a seasonal greeting card. I have a post where comments are screened so nobody else can see your details.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

Oh, yes. Broken comment notifications. Curse them, and their sudden but inevitable server move.

I'm much happier with the way that their Booklover scheme works in my part of the 'verse. They give you 5 points for every dollar you spend, and each point is worth a cent. You can have as many of them as you want, and spend them however you want. Not so very long ago, I had no actual money, so I bought Guards! Guards! with points. It was the best day ever.

I don't distribute my snail-mail address (partly because the post here sucks like a horribly sucky thing), but when I happen to find gainful employment, I plan to get myself a post-office box, at which time I'll give my snail-mail address to the world.

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

I get one point per dollar, and at certain numbers of points (I think it's every 100), I get an increasingly higher value voucher. I'm onto my second card, and I think they go up to 1000 points each, but I can't remember if I changed cards because I reached 1000 or because my old card died from overuse.

I think the way yours works sounds good too, but really, anything that involves getting free money to spend at a bookstore is good. I just wish I could think of something to spend my $5 voucher on, since it will obviously entail spending money along with it. Sadly, very few new books cost just $5. But I'm sure I'll find something. Probably the Lynne Truss book of Long-Titley Doom.

Right now I'm tinkering with my Hufflepuff icon to put it back into the rotation on LJ, since NaNoWriMo is over and I can retire my 'cat hairs of inspiration' icon until next November. I need to go to bed shortly, since I have to be up at 4.30 tomorrow for the Big Damn U2 Onsale. Sigh. Sometimes it's hard to be good and obliging and Do The Right Thing By The Company, especially when it means going to bed when it still looks like midday outside.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

I like the way that mine works. For every 20 books at a certain price, I get enough points to buy a twenty-first one; I typically prefer to save those to buy books when I have no money.

The Lynne Truss long-titley book is quite fun, and well worth reading. If you haven't read Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, then it is also well worth reading.

The Company needs to actually hire that crack squad to kill sucky customers, especially since you'll be selling U2 tickets all day. Best of luck with that.

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

I've heard quite a lot of good things about Wicked. I shall add it to my list of possibilities. I guess it depends on what I see first, and how much money I have when I go shopping.

I meant to add that it was okay about the snail-mail. I wouldn't feel nearly so comfortable about giving out my address if it weren't a PO box.

Thanks for the well-wishes about the U2 sale. I'm going to need all the luck I can get, I think. At least it's just a matter of answering the calls, selling the tickets, and not letting people argue. It'll actually be easier because it'll be so flat-out, the time will go faster than just sitting there staring into space. Not that staring into space doesn't have its merits at times; I mean, if it means I avoid a Reaver attack because I see them first, then it's got to be good.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

Wicked is slightly more expensive, and takes a little bit longer to read, but is somewhat more addictive.

PO boxes do, indeed, rock.

You'll have customers. You can push the suckiest ones off the phone and into the path of the Reavers, buying yourself precious time to escape. Or, you could lock yourself in the vault. Whichever sounds fun.

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

I suppose the end result should be to get both Wicked and the Lynne Truss book, as well as every other book in the bookshop that I want ever, but that might be a bit ambitious for a five dollar voucher which, incidentally, I discovered today that I've lost. Or seem to have lost. It was tucked away in the same spot I put my counselling appointment money, and I think when I took the money out to pay it may have fallen out. I'll have to ring the place and ask if they've seen it.

Sucky as customers can be, I don't think I could leave even them to the Reavers. Not even the one who made me cry the other day because she called me rude. Well, maybe her. But knowing what Reavers do to people... *shudder* Although some of the things Reavers do to people appear to be quite similar to things that Simulants do to people in Red Dwarf. I may have to make a comparison of the two shows at some point.

I've extended four of my shifts to seven and a half hours this week, and picked up an extra four hour shift on Saturday morning to make up, money-wise, for the three days I've taken off in the past fortnight. It's mentally draining, but I've been having a nice relaxing time on the train rereading the Animorphs series. I'd write my Christmas cards, but train-writing is not one of my talents; I have abysmal handwriting at the bext of times, let alone when I'm in a train as rattly and bouncy and crowded as the ones I catch to and from work.

Right at the moment I'm catching up on LJ comments that have gone unreplied to for a couple of days, and flicking between that and my friendslist. I'm also listening to Winamp and not letting myself skip any tracks, which means that I'm properly listening to some of the stuff that I just put on the computer and never really listened to before. At the moment it's Loreena McKennitt's Night Right Across The Caucasus. I'm trying to decide if her work is too repetitive or not -- quite a few of her songs tend to sound very similar to each other.

Love,
Lauren

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Dear Lauren,

I sympathise with you; today, I think I decided I wanted to buy nearly half of Dymocks' stock. It almost depresses me to think that if I won a vast sum of money, I'd probably expand my library beyond reason or sanity. Almost, that is, since hey - books.

I'd be somewhat interested in your comparison of Red Dwarf and Firefly.

Train-writing is an easy enough talent to learn, but is much more suited to much longer trips - such as hours in an uncomfortable seat with a pen and a sketchbook for company.

I almost wish I had a few days of comments to catch up on; I'm somewhat unfortunately up-to-date, which leaves me looking for things to do with a few spare minutes. Curse this hectic modern life. :)

Love,
Linda

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dear Linda,

Here I am, replying ages late as always. Sigh. Too much heat and work and lack of interest in the internet in general.

Today at work I got to use the stamp to put return addresses on postpak tough bags for the Grand Prix tickets and listen to one of my coworkers pour his heart out about a girl he likes. It was an exciting day.

I don't like the heat. I have a headache. Grrr. *tips water over head* But! I have dinosaurs on my desk, and that helps an awful lot.

Love,
Lauren