So, there was recently a Very Big Spider sharing my abode. The Very Big Spider departed some time after that, which I thought would be the end of that particular spider.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Today, there is not one spider. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many spiders. And they have a plan.
Also, they're tiny, tiny little things, mere spiderlings. Did I mention there's many of them?
As it turns out, my flesh-nomming valuables-gathering tenant wasn't so much a huntsman as a huntswoman, and spent some non-zero amount of time, during which I wondered where a giant spider might've scampered off to, on the forming of babby in my home.
So, um. Yes. There is something more disturbing than the notion of a GIANT SPIDER nomming upon one's flesh, and I now know what it is: the notion of being made into some kind of arachnid Gerber for the growing offspring of a GIANT SPIDER.
(Human! With everything a growing GIANT SPIDER needs for strong fangs and eight healthy eyes, it's what's for dinner. Don't just take our word for it - let's hear what Shelob has to say about this exciting new food!)
Oh, how wrong I was.
Today, there is not one spider. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many spiders. And they have a plan.
Also, they're tiny, tiny little things, mere spiderlings. Did I mention there's many of them?
As it turns out, my flesh-nomming valuables-gathering tenant wasn't so much a huntsman as a huntswoman, and spent some non-zero amount of time, during which I wondered where a giant spider might've scampered off to, on the forming of babby in my home.
So, um. Yes. There is something more disturbing than the notion of a GIANT SPIDER nomming upon one's flesh, and I now know what it is: the notion of being made into some kind of arachnid Gerber for the growing offspring of a GIANT SPIDER.
(Human! With everything a growing GIANT SPIDER needs for strong fangs and eight healthy eyes, it's what's for dinner. Don't just take our word for it - let's hear what Shelob has to say about this exciting new food!)
