Er... meep.

[active_apathy]

So, there was recently a Very Big Spider sharing my abode. The Very Big Spider departed some time after that, which I thought would be the end of that particular spider.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Today, there is not one spider. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many spiders. And they have a plan.

Also, they're tiny, tiny little things, mere spiderlings. Did I mention there's many of them?

As it turns out, my flesh-nomming valuables-gathering tenant wasn't so much a huntsman as a huntswoman, and spent some non-zero amount of time, during which I wondered where a giant spider might've scampered off to, on the forming of babby in my home.

So, um. Yes. There is something more disturbing than the notion of a GIANT SPIDER nomming upon one's flesh, and I now know what it is: the notion of being made into some kind of arachnid Gerber for the growing offspring of a GIANT SPIDER.

(Human! With everything a growing GIANT SPIDER needs for strong fangs and eight healthy eyes, it's what's for dinner. Don't just take our word for it - let's hear what Shelob has to say about this exciting new food!)

Comments

[nekoama.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that happened to me in summer camp one year. A little nest of baby spiders, hatched around my bunk, and then my whole bed is swathed in little spider webs like a cover. And I couldn't find them to kill them, so the most I could do was destroy the webs, but they'd be back again the next morning. At least on the plus side I never got any mosquito or black fly bites at night.
I'm sure they'll fly away soon enough to some farm to sing praises about bacon.

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

*shudder* I would have fled. Not just the house, not far enough. I hear Canada is nice...

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Canada would do nicely, unless there's a spider on the aeroplane.

[shaysdays.livejournal.com]

the notion of being made into some kind of arachnid Gerber for the growing offspring of a GIANT SPIDER.

I misread this somehow and imagined all the little spiders forming up, Voltron-style, to make one gant spider... but I see I have horrified you and will shut up.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

...this was not a good image to wake up to.

On the other hand, awake now. Very very awake. Can't sleep, Spidertron will eat me, can't sleep, Spidertron will eat me...

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

I recommend BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Alas, I do not think I would get my bond back unless the insurance somehow covers arachnapocalypse.

[tears-of-nienna.livejournal.com]

Gaaaaah I am on the other side of the world from you, and my skin is still crawling at the very idea. I am going to second the suggestion of KILLING THEM WITH FIRE. *shudder*

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

I would be all for nuking them from orbit, but all my things are here.

[ladyphoenixia.livejournal.com]

I like huntsmen. I don't mind seeing them in my house now and then (if I had more huntsmen in my house last night there wouldn't have been FOUR MASSIVE COCKROACHES, which are my most hated household beastie.) But spider-spawn? That's a different story. My sympathies... i would probably call someone male and/or involved in pest removal and get the hell away for the interim.

>_

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

I can't remember the last time I had a cockroach here. This may be something to do with the GIANT SPIDERS saying things like "A Wii, eh? And what if something were to... 'appen... to it?"

Hunts(wo)men: the lesser of two evils. BUT STILL EVIL.

[ladyphoenixia.livejournal.com]

We tend to get rid of them by spraying every entrance with Cockroach Bane, aka eucalyptus oil. Keeps most of the beasties out. But eventually, our protection wears thin, and the hordes find their way amongst us once more.

(One scurried across my counter as I was cooking. Not Happy)

And fair enough. Huntschildren - evil in packs. >_

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

OH CHRIST that is scary. I was traumatised as a kid by that scene from Lost In Space where he cuts open spider guy's abdomen and the baby spiders all come out and eat him.

*shudder*

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

...I do not believe I have seen that scene. I do, however, know that I never want to.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

i think it was from the movie which I am told was not as good as the series which I am not sure I ever watched.

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough I do not mind spiders when I am camping. I just pick them up and fling them out of the tent, or flick them off me. In the house, however--Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

I have an agreement with the spiders in our house. I do not kill them and they stay down in the basement where they can eat the other things with too many legs that sneak into the house via the cold-air return thingy. Luckily I live in Minnesota where spiders do not grow very large because it is cold in the winter.