Memesies

...which looks like an astonishingly bad spelling of mimesis, only it's not.



lonecow posted a post in which there was a list listing skills she skilfully has that may usefully be of use if ever the zombies gather for a Zombie Apocalypse¹.

So! Meme.

1. Make a list of skills you have for surviving a zombie apocalypse.
2. Post your list.
   

And now, the list!

• Basic skills at stabbityness!
• May need to be reworked as hackityslashiness, because nothing says "NO! No brains for you!" quite like decapitation.
• Ever-so-slightly-less-basic skills at shooting stuff with bows!
• Thwip!
• ...
  
• Thwack!
• Morale!
• At the very least, it seems to work well enough here.
• It may also see me shot/thrown out of the shelter/elected president of the survivors for (carefully) teaching the zombies (from a safe distance) to say "Needs moar brainz. We can has brains? Pls to be brains timez nao."
• Apocalyptic tactics!
  
• Once elected president of the survivors, official edicts would be passed against stupid acts such as:
• Splitting Up (12483-D)
• Not Looking Up (48624-F)
• Pressing Play on Tape Recordings of the Necronomicon (13854-P)
  
• Saying "It Could Be Worse" (35497-S), or
• Teaching Zombies to Speak Lolcat (46578-E)
• Not-Quite-MacGyverish Resourcefulness!
• Perfect for that last-resort defense of the apocalyptic acquisitions² team.
• Cataloguing of Remaining Human Knowledge!
• Because, really, there's nothing worse than knowing you've got the perfect book on how to most efficiently turn zombies into scatterings of body parts, only to not know where it is.
• Booze Manufacturing!
• Not entirely tested, but still: Distilling! Brewing!
• Some Sewing!
• Accidentally stabbing myself with a needle and blessing your garment with blood is just one service I provide.
  
• Quick Learning!
• In a zombie apocalypse, attrition is inevitable. It's best to plan for those with essential skills - explosives manufacture, armouring, weaponsmithing, apocalyptic acquisitions² and other such life-critical talents to die, often horribly, and become zombies themselves.
• The ability to quickly gain new skills from others with specialist knowledge is therefore essential for long-term survival.
  
• Group Training!
• What's the point of learning others' skills if you don't then do your level best to stamp them into the brains of new survivors, brains that will hopefully do their level best to not be eaten.
• Because having your brain eaten by zombies is kind of a silly plan, really.
• Also, because those classes were compulsory, and I'd like to get some use out of them.
  

And I think that's it, unless you want silly ideas, like making big glass cylinders, closed at one end, which can be put over a zombie until someone comes along to put them back outside.



Also, yay for the Battlestar Galactica soundtracks. They're things of excellence, rating up there with the Planescape: Torment soundtrack, or the scoring for Firefly... apart from one little thing.

One little thing known as a passacaglia³. Or, rather, one helpfully labelled Passacaglia and four variations thereupon, all of which stick in my head like some distilled, purified incarnation of auditory adhesion.

Plus side, at least now I know I have a weapon I can use against those who earworm for evil.

1. Oh, yes. Zombie Apocalypse, A. I get a little optimistic sometimes, but never enough to let myself think - even for a moment - that it might be Zombie Apocalypse, The.
2. See also: Looting.
   
3. Firefox spellcheck, mercifully for it, doesn't know what a passacaglia is. Its nearest suggestions are 'massacring' or 'antimacassar'.
   

Moar pollitiks.

So, Brendan Nelson, Liberal MP for Bradfield¹ has been elected as the leader of the Liberal Party of Australia, with 45 votes. His rival, Malcolm Turnbull, polled 42 votes, after Tony Abbott decided that he didn't want his party to be stuck in opposition forever and, therefore, shouldn't run.

Brendan Nelson, charitably described as a malodorous agglomeration of flobberworm entrails² (and an intelligent design enthusiast³) won in a poll that sources are describing as "a choice of two evils", though expert commentators have said it may take some time yet to determine whether the elected evil is the greater or the lesser.

Probably the greater - Turnbull merely flings children out of swivel-pods and steals from the public purse, whereas Nelson has been sighted with Rumsfeld.


Coming soon: a post on Kevin's chosen cabinet, in which we see if the Liberals can even manage to keep their (non-core) promise about trade union officials.

1. Dear sane Bradfield voters,
   
   we don't blame you. You tried.
   
   Yours democratically,
   active_apathy
   
   
2. By me, at the very least, though I'm sure there's less-charitable descriptions.
3. See?