[Tales By Request] Tales of Mermaids

Requested By: liadlaith
Prompt: Strong and sinuous like a mermaid's tale
Fandom: None
Length: 904 words
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Sinuous, adj.
3. Not direct; devious.

Mermaid, n.
A legendary sea creature having the head and upper body of a woman and the tail of a fish.

Myths and legends. It's the way people tell stories that aren't true, stories based on whimsy or fancy or lies, stories that look nothing like the real world. Stories that they hope aren't true, or stories that they wish were.

( Read more... )

Let's pretend it's yesterday...

...because I was sidetracked with reinventing mermaids.

It's yesterday's news, at least.

There was a spider in my bathtub this morning. This one was trifling and little, but it was imprisoned on a bench between a glass and a piece of paper. My priorities are clearly defined, in this instance - spider leaves bathtub, but having bath (complete with vanilla bubble bath, yay!) comes before throwing spider outside.

Maybe that'll make it think twice. Not particularly likely, since they expect for it to be rainy here for a few days yet. Grr.

*resolves to keep broom close*

My other big item of news is that I've officially decided pinball is electronic crack on skinny steel legs. Today, I was again playing the Lord of the Rings pinball machine, and had the oddest thought from some of the samples they use - specifically:

Legolas: "You have my bow!"
Gimli: "You have my axe!"

And what does this make me imagine? The nine of them, forming a band possibly called The Fellowship of the Rock.

So, we have Gimli on a guitar, and Legolas with a violin. This leaves seven more... and I open the floor for discussion on Middle-Earth's newest band. Let's not worry about anachronism too much, here.

[Tales By Request] (Untitled)

Requested By: caprinus
Prompt: Objects

• Jayne-sized silver-lamé pants
• A brown bear, mounted by an incompetent taxidermist
• A bear's gall bladder

Fandom: Firefly
Length: 583 words
Warning: Involves Jayne's imagination, and his man-parts. Read at your own risk.
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"Nee ta ma duh tyen-shia suo-yo duh run doh gai si. This is the gorramn cargo?" Captain Reynolds waved frantically at the... the thing standing in the middle of the hold. Jobs had been hard to come by, ever since the Alliance took out everyone ever to help the crew. Made a hell of a mess of things.

( Read more... )

A Sign of the End Times

No, really.

And this is the most disturbing thing I've ever written.

And... wait. Something's missing.

*seeks notebook*

*finds notebook*

*opens to notes for elljay entry*

Every month, my chosen chain of bookshops sends me a short publication with information on upcoming releases. Well... two of them, actually. Every month. I think they're posted by men wearing blue gloves.

Today, I'm back to observations about buses. Today, there are two. One is about disreputable men, and the other is about graffiti. Neither is terribly sensible, but I hope at least one might be fun. So! Let's start with the disreputable man.

He's entirely typical, so far as disreputable men go. He smells bad, rarely washes, can barely dress himself and manages to put his two feet up on no less than three seats at a time, by way of some kind of incredible feat that would doubtless interest theoretical physicists.

And what is it that makes him interesting? Nothing at all. Though apparently I'm interesting to him.

Dear Disreputable Men,

I'm NOT interested in you. There are three reasons for this.

The first, and most obvious, is that you are men.

The second is that you are disreputable.

The third is that my nose has standards.

Sincerely not yours,
active_apathy

Next, the graffiti. There seems to be a new movement in bus-graffiti here, at the moment - drawing glasses and goatees on pictures of people in ads with a pen. I shall call this 'neoclassical graffiti', and give you all a moment to ponder a kind of public defacement art scholar.

...

Moment's done. My musings led to an entire university that would be a skate park, where the engineering department gathers on an old timber bench that's been tagged into oblivion, discussing the relative merits of various combinations of wheels and bendy plywood. Or the law faculty, which deals with where, when and how punch-ups are to be properly held and resolved in order to decide who's right about any given subject. Or the geology department, which studies exactly how gravel forms and which forms of gravel result in worse gravel-rash.

I wish my imagination had an 'off' switch.

In an end to my semirandom scribble for today, I'd like to alert people to the existence of a 39-disc seven-season Buffy: the Vampire Slayer box set for a mere $290.

A BOX WITH THIRTY-NINE DVDs OF BUFFY.

ijhnrv.kjbnjkasb nk.

And... that's it. Mind your step while the universe unmakes itself.

OMGWTFBtVS!