Wacky fun.

[active_apathy]

This morning (assuming 'this morning' is 'yesterday morning' is Thursday, because I said so) I shuffled out the front door to go and get my public transport fix for the day. The following all-too-frequent exchange happened:

Me: *mumbles something that sounds like a greeting*
Driver: Mornin'.
Me: Uh...
Brain: *remembers how mornings work, takes over*
Me: A [ticket], thanks.
Driver: (puzzled) Um... a [ticket]?
Me: Yes. One of those.
Driver: Don't you want a [ZOMGdifferent ticket]?
Me: No. I mean a [ticket].
Driver: A [ticket]?
Me: (encouragingly) Yes. The [price] one.
Driver: *encodes and hands over [ticket]*
Me: *takes ticket, scampers to seat*

Notice that? It's all generalised, because it happens for virtually every kind of ticket I try to buy. Anyway, it essentially translates as:

Me: Morning!
Driver: You look like you're trying to pay your fare. Would you like help?
Me: Would you like to swallow a paperclip? Answer carefully. I'm decaffeinated.
Driver: Um... this isn't about me. This is your story; I'm just visiting.
Me: Well, good. Now we've got that sorted out, I'd like a [ticket], thanks.
Driver: (is puzzled) A [ticket]?
Me: Yes, exactly.
Driver: But surely you'd like a [ZOMGdifferent ticket]...
Me: No, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't.
Driver: Are you sure?
Me: Entirely.
Driver: Is that your final-
Me: Finish that sentence and you will ingest the steering wheel.
Driver: Fair enough. So, that was a [ZOMGdifferent ticket]...
Me: No, it was a [ticket].
Driver: Are you sure? The [ZOMGdifferent ticket] is better.
Me: Not for me.
Driver: For everyone!
Me: Apart from me.
Driver: But I think you want the [ZOMGdifferent ticket].
Me: Well, that certainly makes one of us.
Driver: So you want-
Me: Remember that thing there used to be?
Driver: Thing?
Me: The kind of division of labour thing.
Driver: (puzzled) The what?
Me: The thing where I decided what ticket I wanted, and then you drove the bus?
Driver: Oh, that. Well, I think-
Me: That those were good times? Wacky fun? That we should go back to that?
Driver: Um, well, actually...
Me: Good to see you agree.
Driver: But I think that you-
Me: See my exact change? See how [ticket] is [price]?
Driver: It could be a coincidence!
Me: Unfortunately, we're still on planet Earth.
Driver: Actually, no. This is still your story. Have you noticed anything about your stories?
Me: Lies. And slander. Lies, slander, and libel. And nonsense! Wait... I'll come in again.
Driver: Please don't.
Me: Fine. So, [ticket]?
Driver: But you really want a...
Me: [ticket]. Yes. Who'd have thought.
Driver: But...
Me: *stares*
Driver: *mumbles incoherently*
Me: *is optimistic*
Driver: Are you-
Me: Sure? Yes. Certain? Utterly. Definite, decided and indisputably abiding. My mind, it is made up. My resolve, let me show you it. I can has [tikkit].
Driver: You... can has?
Me: [tikkit]. Now.
Driver: You know, I can hear the misspelling, which means-
Me: That you'll give me my [ticket], or I'll be forced to lolcat a second time.
Driver: Well, why didn't you say so? *encodes and dispenses ticket*
Me: I hate my stories sometimes. *accepts ticket, scampers to seat*

With the addition of your choice of 'grrr', 'argh', 'arrrrrr', 'someone set up us the ticket' or 'this is public transpoooooooorrrrrrrrt!', that's about all there is for today.

...

[Poll #1043982]

Comments

[piccolo-pirate.livejournal.com]

Sorry - hi, added you because you made me laugh. I bring you greetings from Thursday afternoon, which it is, just barely, on the east coast of the United States.

-Kate

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Hooray! My userinfos, they work. :)

*waves, from the future*

[analise.livejournal.com]

I'm tempted to metaquote you again but I'd have to do the whole post.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

*shruggles* You can if you want to. Cut tags are your friend.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

Public transpoooooooorrrrrrrrt!

(But only because I've a fondness for melodramatic delivery. Not a love of Frank Miller.)

[kitsunefury.livejournal.com]

Did u has tikkit in end?

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

I did! And, indeed, I always do - eventually they realise that I'm allowed to buy whatever tikkit I wants.

[icanseethebunny.livejournal.com]

Oh geez. I was fine until Well, that certainly makes one of us.

And then I didn't stop giggling delightedly until My resolve, let me show you it. I can has [tikkit]... at which point I COMPLETELY LOST IT. Well played.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

:D

That is all.

[jjjiii]

It puts the ticket in the basket, or else it gets the hose again.

[foxtrot-pasta.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the completely random and late butt-in, but what movie is that from?

[jjjiii]

Silence of the Lambs

[saikogrrl.livejournal.com]

LOL cats! ^____^


I just changed my facbook 'status' to cat macro-ese to protest the stupid forced "Kate is"... XD

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Ha! You must be getting tired of winning the universe by now, honestly. Speaking of paperclips, the bus ate my ticket today and the driver decided to switch it off and on again to see if that would help. It's like a universal panacea.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Indeed. And it seems to work for pretty much everything but people; if you switch them off and on again, I find it tends to just makes zombies.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Well I could say the same for several ex-computers as a matter of fact.