A heart warming message from the supermarket

[active_apathy]

So, I needed to buy some foodstuffs. Taking a shortcut down the coffee/tea/biscuits aisle, I noticed this happy message:



Yay! I deserve real coffee! You deserve real coffee! Everyone deserves real coffee! And this coffee company, apparently, is happy to give you the Real Coffee that You Deserve for $4.49! You deserve it! You're worth it! You've earned it! Now you just have to pay for it! And make it! And clean up after it! And stuff! And not only do they get a life-affirming sales pitch for their one-cup plunger and vacuum-packed grounds, they also get to imply that everyone else is using rocks or something! Because - and I think they want this to be very, very clear - there is real coffee, and you are deserving! You/Real Coffee OTP!!1!!!1eleventyone! ...theirloveissocaffeinated! OMG real coffee bling bling! Ur in teh supermarketz, deservin' their coffee! Why, yes, one and all, far and wide, step right up and shout it from the rooftops, because You Deserve Real Coffee!

(Mockery aside, I've got nothing against plunger coffee. It's a grand step from instant, but I don't find it quite as satisfying as what you get from freshly-ground beans and an espresso machine. I was amused by their packaging more than anything else.)

Comments

[raptor-au.livejournal.com]

...so how many spoonfuls, exactly, did you eat straight from the jar?

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

None, actually. No vacuum-packed grounds for me; my coffee (apparently fake) comes by way of whole beans, grinder, and espresso machine.

[salzara-tirwen.livejournal.com]

see, those aren't actually coffee beans, they're llama poo.

[thesnark.livejournal.com]

Fresh ground is the only way to go. Whether you percolate, plunge or produce a shot of espresso afterward does make a difference, sure, and I'll consume all three with varying levels of preference, but neither is worth drinking if it's made from six month old preground coffee bits roasted god knows where by god knows who. Real Coffee indeed.