I shall a-post a second-a time!

[active_apathy]

And I think I'll start with a bit on wildlife population control, because, really, it's a fascinating subject. Occasionally. Sort of.

Well, at least, this time in particular. Why? Because the Government here wants to start giving oral contraceptives to kangaroos.

Let me restate this: Oral contraception. Kangaroos.

"What was that, Skip? You want to go on the pill?"

There's obvious problems here. The obvious one is trying to get kangaroos to take it at the same time each day, unless they're also issued with clocks, wristwatches, alarms and possibly a sundial. Or the pills are administered daily by a person. But then, I wouldn't want to be the one explaining to a kangaroo with mood swings that there's five more days of the placebo.
[Source]

And on the other side of the whole population thing, Howard suddenly wants a bigger army so George lets him have more of the little army men when they play. There's a great opportunity for a tie-in with the Howard government's international relations policy - a poster, for example, has already been made.

More specifically, John wants two battalions, one of which is to be mechanised, which always sounds somewhat like a plan for cybernetic supersoldiers to me. And the light infantry? Sounds more like a crack team of dieticians and personal trainers whose job is to shatter enemy morale by confiscating all their supplies but for rice crackers, water, weight belts and pedometers. And, worst of all, Wallabies tracksuits.

So, rest of the world, be scared: if John 'Nephew Sam' Howard's elite fitness team can't get you to go for a long, healthy run¹ like you're supposed to, then his cybermen certainly will.
[Source]

And so, a second post, on consecutive days, unless you actually look at the clock in which case they're at opposite ends of the same day. Still, the intent is the same. And coming soon, there'll be squeegasms and wibbliness. And kangaroos on the pill².

1. Or, at the very least, a powerwalk. In a Wallabies tracksuit.
   
2. I have had it with... no, no, not going there.³
3. Well, not this time. Honestly, self-control? Who do you think I am?

Comments

[raptor-au.livejournal.com]

...so why aren't we using our Aussie ingenuity/penchant-for-being-lazy-and-doing-two-jobs-at-once and sending the kangaroos off to fight for us?

(And have I mentioned how awesome it is to see you alive and well? No, I haven't. Because I didn't comment on your last post. Cause I suck.)

[shaysdays.livejournal.com]

They tried something similar with the deer here in Bucks County.

The hunters made an uproar because they didn't want to be eatin' hormones, and understandably so. Gov't-sponsored mandatory medication has not enjoyed great historical press here.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Well, our army helicopter simulators do have kangaroos with surface-to-air missiles...

[raptor-au.livejournal.com]

It's amazing what you can carry around when you have a pouch.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

I imagine the hunters were probably only upset at the idea of eating girl-hormones. If the deer were being given the little blue pills, then the hunters would've likely been all over it, and you'd be prying something else from their cold, dead fingers.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

Even pouches have limits.

"What, Skip? It sure would be nice if we had some grenades?"

[raptor-au.livejournal.com]

If cartoons have taught me anything beyond violence being the solution to all of life's problems - and it is! - it's that the dimensional limits of kangaroo pouches no know bounds.

In short: Kangaroos = giant hopping weapon-filled TARDISes. Or something.

(Hey, you try doing Dimensional Physics And Large Marsupials 101 and staying awake.)

[raptor-au.livejournal.com]

That would, of course, be 'know no bounds'.

...it's my first day.

[shaysdays.livejournal.com]

IIRC, it was a vaccine that made both males and females sterile, but I could be wrong.

The hunters aren't the only ones eating it- around here there's a venison dish at every church social, major picnic, etc. Heck, we even have a couple pounds of it in the freezer and we don't hunt. (I actually know a vegetarian who hunts every year and gives the meat to food kitchens)

So the concern over hormones in the food was a little more legitimate than you're making it out to be- I don't like hormones in my food either. There was also concern that the deer would 'leak' hormones into the water and affect other animals, especially endagered species- and anything around here that hunts deer but us is pretty much endangered.

From what I understand, a big group Oz's First Nations of still eat and use kangaroo- has anyone thought of that in this plan?

(Grrr, I sound so severe here, and I don't mean to be, this is just a subject that gets my goat. And my deer. And your kangas. What are they doing about the dropbear problem?)

[eighthcloud.livejournal.com]

Uncle Sam looks like a very stern goat.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

The difference here is that the population they're planning to get to work on isn't a source of food, and is being worked on as a possible way of not just shooting them. And, certainly, an oral contraceptive will go away all by itself if you stop feeding it to them. This particular population, so far as I'm aware, tends to stay in pretty much the same place.

So, back to the deer. Hormones to sterilise wild deer are probably better for you than the ones used to grow, raise, immunise and generally mess around with commercial food animals that are supposedly 'safe'. So, yes, legitimate concerns, but if you're going to be buying commercial $flesh, then you're eating a thousand other artificial hormones.

But, no, the severity's fine. I think I went too far the other way, when it's probably only a small group of hunters who'd seek to use others' concerns as a way of getting themselves out to kill stuff with guns. And that clambers aboard my very own large herd mammal.

The dropbears are being re-educated with an intense campaign of leaflet bombing. We're not sure it'll work just yet, and they're conducting a feasibility study on the implementation of a large-scale literacy programme for the bears in order to cope with the information in the leaflets.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

He does. Maybe he needs to learn some relaxation techniques from Frank.

[shaysdays.livejournal.com]

Hormones to sterilise wild deer are probably better for you than the ones used to grow, raise, immunise and generally mess around with commercial food animals that are supposedly 'safe'.

I know- it's why I try to buy organic whenever possible. But even the so-called 'safe' chemicals are being administered in monitored doses and the animals are checked for problems by vets and all- not so with game.

it's probably only a small group of hunters who'd seek to use others' concerns as a way of getting themselves out to kill stuff with guns.
There is a certain amount of that, yeah. However, I know maybe two adult people who haven't hit/skidded around a deer in their lives around here, so the cache of killing a deer isn't what you'd think.

I can't speak for other states, but around here the hunters are actually some of the biggest conservationists- sure they want to hunt, but they also want to make sure what they hunt is as healthy as possible, up and down the scale. If we're killing mosquito populations with 'contagious' means, then fish are going to be poisoned, you know?

As for the drop bears, I think they should just sell pointy hats. Make everyone look like the wicked witch of Oz.

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

As for the drop bears, I think they should just sell pointy hats. Make everyone look like the wicked witch of Oz.

But then my figurative greenness would be much less special.

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

I actually know a vegetarian who hunts every year and gives the meat to food kitchens

...obviously not a vegetarian who became a vegetarian to save the poor ickle wee fuzzy animals from slaughter, then.

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

My icon says hi to your subject line.

Okay. Kangaroos on the pill. I can't remember to take mine at the same time every day. I can't see a kangaroo remembering. But then, I can't see a kangaroo being able to manipulate the packet well enough to pop out just that specific day's pill. Or being able to read the days printed on the packet.

The solution is obviously Implanon.

[shaysdays.livejournal.com]

Nope- someone who got a particularly gross specimen in a meatloaf in his youth and just can't stomach the stuff because of it.

Nor does he bite his fingernails for the same reason, so you can guess the truamatic experience rather easily. *shudder*

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

...yick.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

They're doing what now?

...O.o...

And only this morning I was having a conversation about how we ought to replace our cattle herds with kangaroo herds because it's better for the environment. I suppose it's better than cat herds.

Still, hormonal kangaroos must be a sight to see.