We'll start with the earliest of my random observations, this one walking home in the early afternoon after finishing my classes for the day. Neatly piled on the edge of the road, like the aftermath of some kind of bizarre Qigong1 display, was an unrolled condom neatly left atop a large pile of shards of pots and/or tiles. I'm fairly certain that, whatever it is, I can draw two conclusions. One is that I really don't want to know what was going on. The other is that, whatever actually did happen, there'll be a video of it somewhere on the Internet.
From there, to a bookshop a couple of days later. This one's only short, but happily speaks for itself. Under a large, green 'HUMOUR' sign perched atop the bay of shelves stood happily three or four copies of the Da Vinci Code Board Game3. Please do, as Joss would say, bring your own subtext.
Next, we've got an astounding prevalence of signs and objects which use single letters to illustrate things. The specific example I'm basing this on is a "U TURN PERMITTED" sign, seen at an intersection 'twixt naps on a bus. What concerns me is that we have a culture where single-letter abbreviations no longer indicate shapes or designations, they replace whole words. Soon, the SMS-speek folk will infuse culture to the point where...
Lastly, we have an amusingly named travel mug/thermos4 thingy, given the name of the 'JOEmo Mug'. Yes, an emo mug. All it needs now is to talk: "How can you not have milk? Why did you have to run out, leaving me to go without? Now your coffee is black, black as the night under which my soul shall lie forever, buried in darkness and drowned in the scalding-hot and caffeinated tears of your milkless coffee." Chances are, it then goes on to lament a lack of instructional DVDs to tell it how to McGyver a beverage-whitening solution from pottery shards and the contents of an iBar.
And that's about it for this entry. Time to pick an icon and click post.
From there, to a bookshop a couple of days later. This one's only short, but happily speaks for itself. Under a large, green 'HUMOUR' sign perched atop the bay of shelves stood happily three or four copies of the Da Vinci Code Board Game3. Please do, as Joss would say, bring your own subtext.
Next, we've got an astounding prevalence of signs and objects which use single letters to illustrate things. The specific example I'm basing this on is a "U TURN PERMITTED" sign, seen at an intersection 'twixt naps on a bus. What concerns me is that we have a culture where single-letter abbreviations no longer indicate shapes or designations, they replace whole words. Soon, the SMS-speek folk will infuse culture to the point where...
- "U TURN PERMITTED" signs will be needed at every corner, just so that folk know where they're allowed to stop going in a straight line.
- The ubiquitous T-shirt will cease to be a comfy casual garment, and instead become a formal garment which accompanies the having of tea, should one be given to appropriately following one's proper protocol for the having of tea.
- Y-fronts will develop into a crotchless undergarment.
- The title of the game R-Type will become a strangely meaningless question.
- A B battery will designate a size of battery developed such that it provides power from the efforts of a small colony of captive bees.
- A C clamp will become a device used for ensuring oceans stay where you put them.
- Lastly, an I bar, just to be confusing, will become a trendy portable device for the storage and mixing of drinks. It'll be artificially scarce to inflate the price, will break the minute the warranty expires, and will inspire a whole industry of accessories and addons.
Lastly, we have an amusingly named travel mug/thermos4 thingy, given the name of the 'JOEmo Mug'. Yes, an emo mug. All it needs now is to talk: "How can you not have milk? Why did you have to run out, leaving me to go without? Now your coffee is black, black as the night under which my soul shall lie forever, buried in darkness and drowned in the scalding-hot and caffeinated tears of your milkless coffee." Chances are, it then goes on to lament a lack of instructional DVDs to tell it how to McGyver a beverage-whitening solution from pottery shards and the contents of an iBar.
And that's about it for this entry. Time to pick an icon and click post.
- And here's why I don't use spellcheck. Despite that I couldn't actually remember the name of the exercise-philosophy-thingy, only that they used it to pull an aeroplane along. After Googling for pages involving pulling aeroplanes with penises2, this article turned up. See the lengths I go to for you?
- Incidentally, this may well be the second time I've ever used Google for the word 'penis' or any of its derivative forms. The other was to check the spelling and usage of the proper plural form 'penes', before I had a dictionary heavy enough to list it.
- This wasn't found in seven ruttin' pages of Da Vinci Code $ITEMS in the Angus & Robertson online catalogue, a disturbing number of which are just different formats, paginations, foliations, printings and occasionally covers of Dan Brown's
originaltext, rather than actual other items. Rar. Google similarly failed to deliver. - OTP!!!11!1!1!1eleventy! ...theirloveissothermallyinsulating
