Oh. Em. Gee. A month, no post. Eek!

And there's a host of reasons, but they're reasons that really should merit posting, because posting is good. Not posting, on the other hand, is bad. Or, probably, becomes more of a normal and saddening feature of the LJ landscape, considering that for a while I very nearly lived on LJ.

And now, there's my whole course thingy, with the books and the shelves and all things else. And, more importantly, a new and huggable and kissable and utterly fantastic partnerperson who's incredibly incredible and makes me go all melty-squeegasm inside, outside, and all places between.

So, I'm still not dead¹. Not by any means. In fact, quite the opposite, which still unfairly slays my LJing tendencies, and this saddens me greatly. And, presumably, more folk besides.

Not that I think people would be happy if I weren't still alive and well. I like being alive. There's a list of people as long as my leg² who'd be happy with my continued living, which leads to new possibilities in the field of skirts made from recycled lists of people who like the idea of being alive to wear them. So, yes. All my deaths are little ones⁴.

And I really, really, would like to post things - just occasionally - that don't need to serve as notices to my flist that nothing tragic, dangerous, hazardous or horrendous has happened to me, especially not things that cause loss of life, limbs, lunch or livejournals.

So, still trying to get life back to a semblance of normal, but without wanting my newfound squeeeee to go away. And, really, it'll be well worth the attempt - I miss my journal, and I miss reading page after page of entries while thinking "but it was only a few hours", and I miss all of you. And, also, I kinda miss writing in gratuitous footnotes⁶. And I'll have to come up with fantastically witty things to say, so I can try to get my rule back.

But, until then, it doesn't mean I'm unavailable to the webbernets. Rather the opposite - feel free, one and all, to send email, or to send those LJ prod thingies, or to comment on old entries to say things like "hey, we haven't heard from you for weeks", because that kinda helps. And, I'll try to be better about being on my IM thingies, the details for which are helpfully listed in my userinfo, because I am just. that. nice™⁷.

So, yes. I live. Bwah.

1. Or, true to form, I still aten't dead.
2. Both of which - I might add - are the opposite of short.³
3. Kind of on the subject (ha!), it just happens I'm all of an inch shorter than Nathan Fillion. Shiny.
4. Because, obviously, you all really needed to know that. Though, in all fairness, I imagine it might bring a kind of reflected happiness to someone's day, possibly⁵ in the form of a pretend headline. 'Once-Upon-A-Time-Kind-Of-Prolific LJer Has Supply Of Sex', they'd say, if all the world were so odd as the kinds of things that wander freely in my head whenever my imagination leaves the gate open.
5. i.e., likely not.
   
6. Made you look.
7. Nice™ levels may vary. Nice™ not available in all locations. Nice™ redeemable on receipt of Civil© from others. Nice™ subject to availability restrictions. Nice™ is not water soluble. Nice™ has been independently tested and found safe for both internal and external use. Nice™ does not constitute professional dietary, medical, legal, financial, philosophical, philological, inspirational, adjectival or any other form of advice. Except maybe philological. And adjectival. And please, please, don't ever ask for advice on writing disclaimers.⁸
8. Or on writing short, succinct and sensible footnotes.⁹
9. Or on avoiding self-referential footnotes.⁹

I shall a-post a second-a time!

And I think I'll start with a bit on wildlife population control, because, really, it's a fascinating subject. Occasionally. Sort of.

Well, at least, this time in particular. Why? Because the Government here wants to start giving oral contraceptives to kangaroos.

Let me restate this: Oral contraception. Kangaroos.

"What was that, Skip? You want to go on the pill?"

There's obvious problems here. The obvious one is trying to get kangaroos to take it at the same time each day, unless they're also issued with clocks, wristwatches, alarms and possibly a sundial. Or the pills are administered daily by a person. But then, I wouldn't want to be the one explaining to a kangaroo with mood swings that there's five more days of the placebo.
[Source]

And on the other side of the whole population thing, Howard suddenly wants a bigger army so George lets him have more of the little army men when they play. There's a great opportunity for a tie-in with the Howard government's international relations policy - a poster, for example, has already been made.

More specifically, John wants two battalions, one of which is to be mechanised, which always sounds somewhat like a plan for cybernetic supersoldiers to me. And the light infantry? Sounds more like a crack team of dieticians and personal trainers whose job is to shatter enemy morale by confiscating all their supplies but for rice crackers, water, weight belts and pedometers. And, worst of all, Wallabies tracksuits.

So, rest of the world, be scared: if John 'Nephew Sam' Howard's elite fitness team can't get you to go for a long, healthy run¹ like you're supposed to, then his cybermen certainly will.
[Source]

And so, a second post, on consecutive days, unless you actually look at the clock in which case they're at opposite ends of the same day. Still, the intent is the same. And coming soon, there'll be squeegasms and wibbliness. And kangaroos on the pill².

1. Or, at the very least, a powerwalk. In a Wallabies tracksuit.
   
2. I have had it with... no, no, not going there.³
3. Well, not this time. Honestly, self-control? Who do you think I am?