I prefer happy developments.

[active_apathy]

For those who missed this valuable slice of backstory, that link may help you understand the following. For everyone else... guess who just happened to call me about a week ago. No, there aren't prizes.

Apparently things aren't all as perfect as some folk had hoped, and there's some tension appearing in certain relationships. In some ways, I can see the sense of her calling me - when things aren't quite right, it's fairly intuitive to want to turn to someone who's been there for you for nearly four years, regardless of what it'd take to do so.

Or exactly what you've done to them.

And me? Well, being me, I patiently listened. I did exactly what I've done for years, and for nearly the same reason as before - because someone who was special to me needed someone. Because that makes it right to do, even if it's not really fair or comfortable to be called on to do so.

Somewhere in there, I got The Speech™. The one that seems to pop up in movies, when they realise just what they've done. The one about how it was all a mistake and an accident and how they never stopped loving you. The one where they really do care, and they didn't mean for any of it to happen. The one about how they wish it had never happened, and they hope that you can trust them again. The one where they ask you to take them back.

I can't. More importantly, I won't, and I'm not quite sure what kind of person that makes me. Maybe one day I'll find out. So, there I am, offered the chance to have everything put back the way it was, and I decide to try to help her sort out things with someone on the other side of the world. Things can never be put back, and my one hope was that this time, she'd be committed and faithful and all those other things.

So much for hoping. Two and a half hours ago, I got this message:
Hope ur having a good night, i Know I am. It's cold here. I'm still sober, I've been drinking since 7pm. I'm the only one whos picked up. bye, Hugs.

To quote Mal,
May have been the losing side. Still not sure it was the wrong one.
[[Edit: This bit specifically refers to trying to get her to not do it all over again.]]

Comments

[arib.livejournal.com]

May have been the losing side. Still not sure it was the wrong one.

Not even sure it's the losing side, in this case.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Never take anyone back under those circumstances.

And I don't think it was the wrong side or the losing side either.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

*points up* What the two previous commenters said.

I can tell that you're hurting because of this, because you'd want her to be happy, even though it would also hurt in its own way for you. I wish I could do or say anything to help with that hurt, but I think only time will. In the meantime, still, what your previous two commenters said.

And a gratituous virtual hug.

[one-bullet-left.livejournal.com]

*hugs* For what it's worth, you could never have put things back the way they were. You know too much for that, and I'm quite sure you did the right thing.

Go watch lots of Firefly now. Mal & Company make everything better, at least for a while.

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's anything more you can do for her. Furthermore, I don't think there's anything more you should have to do for her.

*hugs*

[eighthcloud.livejournal.com]

I can't. More importantly, I won't, and I'm not quite sure what kind of person that makes me.

That, my dear, makes you the Smart Kind. We're all due to get The Speech one or twice in our lives (or, if you're me, like 70 gajillion, and no that's NOT a good thing), but it's not about the speech, it's about the actions afterwards. Someone can tell you they love you till they turn blue in the face but they have to SHOW it before any action on your part is expected. From what I gather, you should have zero expectations placed upon you in this instance.