kittydesade: (randomity (nopejr))

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Jun. 21st, 2017 12:41 pm[personal profile] kittydesade
I'm having weird capoeira feelings today, which is that after a disastrous game last weekend (not the entire class! Class was overall great! Just one disastrous sparring session/game [they call it a game in capoeira] that left me feeling OH MY GOD I CAN'T DO THIS) I just don't want to go back and face everyone. And by everyone I mean my two teachers who have been the only damn ones there the last few classes. And. Ugh. Anxiety is a fucker who can go die in a brainsoup of some kind. Probably exercise endorphins.

Other than that, hey, either the boy changed his mind about gardening or he did all the things he wanted to do because when I got home yesterday the only thing left to do was to strip off the bed. Which we did after pizza was consumed because of reasons and also being too tired to cook. Pizza will also be consumed tonight, since it's a capoeira night goddammit, never mind what my various weasels say.

In utterly unrelated makeup news, I decided to make my own nudes palette of only mattes because every other palette I have has half shimmer shades and look, I like these but if I want shimmer and sparkle I have literally about a hundred loose powders I can use. Okay? Okay. I figure I'll get me a bigass palette and slowly stock it with various nudes and other potentially useful mattes, muted tones or what have you, to be backgrounds to my sparkle. Because I'm getting sophisticated in my makeup looks, wot! God help me. I've been practicing with the palettes in my care package and I'm slowly getting the hang of it, I think! Very slowly. But still, enough to invest a bit more into the whole thing. If it doesn't work out I can fill the rest of the palette with contours or something. Although the shade and light palette is working out pretty damn good.

Now I just need to conquer this concept of eyeliner as it applies to how I do my eyes. Because what the hell. Also lash curling. I need to get the hang of lash curling.

Writing continues. I owe Starlight three wiki entries as of today, I need to get on that, but those should hopefully go by fast if with a lot of bracket notes. And I've been working on Malachy, and I need to contact an entertainment lawyer because actions have happened that none of you saw. That will probably happen tomorrow on account of today is a capoeira day and I barely have brain as it is. And then I need to figure out how the fuck I'm going to pay lawyer fees, son of a bitch. I forgot about that. Maybe that's what credit cards were made for, though. Argh. Stupid money. If I'm really lucky though the receptionist will listen to the situation and say "Okay that's like half an hour, the fee is $50" and I can just pay. Aaargh why does life cost money.

That's not entirely true. This isn't life this is following an aspiration the smartest way I can manage, and paying people for their time and skills that they earned with effort and time and paying money themselves, and that's all fine. I'm just also annoyed at my own life and lack of sufficient funds to do all the cool shit I really want to do. ... on second thought maybe I'll call an entertainment lawyer now. Just so I have that less of an unknown quantity in my head.

Toooo many things going on at once, and this is me trying to do too many things at once, and I should go to capoeira tonight just so I have to take a couple hours to do what's in front of me, that's physical work with a bit of brainpower for focus and tactics. I need focus and calm and that's not happening right now because too excited about the Redacted. Ugh.
kittydesade: Quote "I have a headache, a badge, and a gun. Behave." (headache badge gun)

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Jun. 20th, 2017 12:40 pm[personal profile] kittydesade
The boy is home and apparently not only contracted poison ivy in the last few days (I am SO GLAD I have inverse poison plant allergies) but also shares my CLEAN AND FIX AND TIDY ALL THE THINGS urge. At least until he goes back to work. So apparently today I managed to get him to mop and wipe down the kitchen and he's going to walk around the front of the house and try to find all the poison ivy and poison sumac so I can get rid of it. I'm sure I've mentioned this before here? I'm apparently allergic to English ivy. Not poison ivy. I have no idea why, I'm built backwards, but it makes gardening fun and easier. And then we're also apparently going to flea-treat all the upholstery and bedding that's in the lived-in portions of the house (no cats are allowed in the guest room so that's fine) because it's that time of year again yay.

Speaking of gardens I really need to make both the bread and the bruschetta. Maybe tonight, if I get all my writing tasks done while at work. At the rate things are going I'm going to spend all my time at home either studying or doing household chores. Which isn't bad, just, eek. At least we have quick and easy or frozen food with which to make dinner.

I am a little alarmed at how optimistic I'm feeling given the consistent and pervasive and sometimes successful efforts of the current regime to destroy this country. I mean, nationally things are a shitshow, but locally and personally I actually feel pretty good. It's leading to a hell of a lot of cognitive dissonance, let me tell you.

I called my Senator and got a person. For the first time in a couple months. That might be the way to do it (after trying a couple ways that didn't work so well), send myself an email of the script and leave it in my inbox until it annoys me enough to call or the script changes, then call around lunch. Or midnight if I don't feel up to people-ing. The guy was polite but sounded frazzled and annoyed at everything, which I have some slight sympathy for given that I don't know he's a horrible person who wants the GOP agenda to go through.

(Of course now that I've planned all this for when I get home, that's when two wholesalers call and want this thing and that thing and thirty pounds of merch and seventy five pounds of merch and I don't even know what's going on today. I think I'm just going to keep moving on forward momentum and hope it all works out. At least I'll sleep well tonight.)

(Also the universe keeps sending me invitations to step into writing shit, or at least develop relationships, and it's confusing and scary.)
kittydesade: (serene)

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Jun. 19th, 2017 10:08 am[personal profile] kittydesade
Ooogh okay self, you can do your eyes around your exercises but the rest of your makeup you do need to sit down and do and then maybe you'll be scrambling less to get everything in the right order in the mornings? Oy. Today I had... okay less of a large amount of time than I feel like I did, but still. And I still ended up scrambling because I tripped over my makeup routine. But on the plus side I did my back PT, which I've been neglecting for way longer than I should have. I do need to write down my new makeup routine/order now though, so I don't completely forget it. Given it's new.

I am totes turning in all my credit card points for Sephora gift cards though, in the event that we get to have a girls ditch Con for Sephora hour or two at DragonCon.

I may have gone a bit nuts over the weekend. I tidied up my vanity area so all my boxes fit. Not so much all my stuff, there's a knife box with lipsticks that I need to figure out where they go, but the boxes fit is the important thing. I mopped a little over half the upstairs and 3/4 of the downstairs. Of course I swept up first. I put away a bunch of things that had been hanging out waiting to be put away, took out a bunch of trash, cleaned out the fridge, and did the usual weekend laundry/dishes. Oh, made pizza dough. I was going to make bread dough but by that time it was like 10pm. I sorted out my physics binder so that my indexes for each section were actually goddamn legible. Put away a bunch of crap on the coffee table, wiped that down. Put in the downstairs window AC unit with the help of Uncle Elf Lord.

Spring cleaning a month late? Actually probably this was more to do with having pushed deadlines all last week and weekend and then this weekend not having the boy so I could blast music while I cleaned and deciding THIS PLACE IS A PIGSTY I AM THE WORST HOUSEKEEPER EVER CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. As I do when I just get past a deadline.

Not much else of interest going on. The boy's coming back from his parents' a day late because of illness, which I had better not get dammit. And hopefully he's not coming with rifles or a giant antique lamp or any other weird shit that he's come back with in the past. I have two maj... three major projects to work on, none of which I think are line by line edits? I don't even remember what the hell I was last editing. Starlight is about to hit rewrites in a couple weeks, Malachy is in major overhauls, and The Anthology Formerly Known As White Lightning is in writes ish. So okay. Entirely doable and a lot of fun. But still not much interest just yet. Or at least not the kind of frenetic running in circles screaming my head off interest. That was last week.

(As a random point of interest though, I've been thinking ahead on Malachy and the Lifestyles girls some and I need to watch more things with Taylor Kitsch in them.)
kittydesade: (walking on sunshine)

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Jun. 16th, 2017 12:41 pm[personal profile] kittydesade
Okay, so I didn't sleep quite as much as I meant to -- for one thing I was vicariously watching the end of Lost Girl again and for another I fell down a Babylon 5/TV Tropes rabbit hole -- but I did sleep consistently as much as my minimum and it was glorious. Apart from a brief moment of waking up to be annoyed at the heat and change the settings on the AC/fan.

My makeup skills are slowly leveling up! I managed to properly stab myself in the eye with a liner (as opposed to improperly) yesterday and I managed today to sort of do the under-eye shadow, albeit not with the proper blend of colors in the proper order because I was sleepy and in a rush and not blending anything. This is apparently why we invented color shifting eyeshadow to give us a nice multicolor look without having to apply more than one eyeshadow. STILL. Am very happy with my slowly acquired skills. Now I just need more colors of eyeliner...

And, you know, not to be a slowass at getting ready in the morning.

For the first time I feel like I don't actually need to buy anything to go to DragonCon. In part because I won't be cosplaying anything major, it's a lot harder to cosplay when you're busing to DragonCon and I already have all my pieces for all the street-clothes-with-props costumes. That said, I do think I'm going to need to buy a dedicated makeup case or at least find a suitable travel case somewhere for all the makeup I'm going to bring for cackling girlfriends time in hotel rooms. There is going to be so much cackling girlfriend time. I'm really, really looking forward to it.

Of course now that I've said that I realized wait a minute, I don't have a dragon to be Mother of Dragons with, I have a gryphon, I NEED A DRAGON WOODBABY. No, dude. No you don't. And if you do you can get one when the merch hall opens at the actual place where you are budgeting to spend absurd amounts of money, calm the fuck down.

I am looking forward to this weekend. I intend to stay at the house except for capoeira class and do nothing and see no one. I will probably do a lot of house cleaning because I tend to get inspired to do that when I'm home alone, but I might just sit and read all day. It'll be wonderful!
kittydesade: (bad day)

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Jun. 15th, 2017 10:27 am[personal profile] kittydesade
Well. I had every intention of getting more sleep last night. And I went to bed not necessarily early-early, but a half hour early or so.

And then the boy woke me up at 2.30 in the fucking morning, not that he meant to but I woke up, and I didn't get back to sleep till 4.30 in the goddamn morning because my brain is a fucker that likes to torment me and not let me sleep and my nervous system joined in the act with the too-sweaty-too-itchy-too-cold-in-this-one-spot shenanigans and now I'm at work, exhausted, AGAIN. YAY.

I am so goddamn tired spending $200 on makeup so I could get to Platinum status on Ulta seemed like a good idea. That is how damn tired I am. Besides, if I'm going to do that it's going to be with my girlfriends at DragonCon. At this point it's probably a good thing that I already got all the other really expensive shit I wanted. Frye Boots mostly.

I feel like there should be more to this entry but you know what? No. I'm going to go home, heat up some spaghettios, take off at least the most colorful and smeary parts of my makeup and pass out for an hour. Then I can figure out what I should be doing other than writing. Well, rewriting.
kittydesade: A stack of old, slightly tattered cloth-bound hardbacks next to a porcelain cup of tea on a saucer (quiet day of reading)

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Jun. 14th, 2017 11:23 am[personal profile] kittydesade
Okay, I exist again. But I am too goddamn tired to capoeira today. Partly physically from doing yardwork around everything else, mostly mentally from finishing up TS in two goddamn days with [personal profile] lireavue and getting it all submitted and filling out the world's most absurd author application on this one website and I was so punchy by the end of it. You guys. So punchy. But that's done and the Anthology Formerly Known As White Lightning got somehow bashed into place with a shitload of punchiness and drugs and now I can collapse for the next few days and just write/plan Malachy and Starlight. So that's good. Albeit oh my god I just want to sleep forever.

I did hit the point with Starlight where I realized it needs a full tear-down rebuild, which is fine. I'll do that for July Camp Nanowrimo! And because I'm lazy and don't want to keep track of everything I'll set a goal of full novel length and copy scenes into it wholesale because nyah. And it's Camp and the rules are more lax with Camp than with regular Nanowrimo. Hopefully this works out as well as the second drafts of Malachy and Turing Shrugged seem to have done.

... and now that most of the day jobligations are over I'm falling asleep at my desk, which means skipping out on capoeira was probably the right call.

I still need to do the garden weeding but it sounds like the boy got most of what was needed as far as gardening and taking plants down and all that other crap. I still have every intention of doing a massive housecleaning over the next few days while he's gone and I only have to deal with my mess. We'll see how that goes, if I can recover from this tired quickly ish. The push over the last two-three days was bad enough, but today's mass shootings hit both my home where I grew up (okay not in Alexandria but DC proper but STILL) and nearish to another branch of the family and that can't have been good for my brainpan.

So. Yeah, I think the order of operations of the day is go home, eat pizza maybe brainstorm some more for Starlight or fix some more of Malachy, do the weeding, and then sit curled up with makeup or knitting or cross-stitch or something equally relaxing and leave the internet off until the hour of nightly reminders. And go to bed early because this exhaustion is bullshit and I'm almost tired enough not to want the boy to go home but, eh, he should see his folks. But I'm so damn tired.
kittydesade: (to-do list)

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Jun. 12th, 2017 07:34 pm[personal profile] kittydesade
I swear I exist, but I just spent the last 48 hours going through Turing Shrugged with [personal profile] lireavue to take out all the little dinky edits and strikeouts and bracket notes and so on so I could format it for submission to this one press and I have absolutely no brain left I was hoping to get it done in one day, but apparently it's a two day job.

(This should actually feel way more impressive than it is given that the damn thing's almost 100k words long. And we went through it in two days.)

Anyway. Tomorrow will be the great reformatting and then both of those PitMad submissions will be off and the third one... mmph. And then I can get back to the five other projects I have in progress.

Well, two and one that needs tweaking. AGAIN. Fucking New Amsterdam.
kittydesade: a bright red queen chess piece at the head of a diagonal line of white pawns on a white background (red queen running)

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Jun. 8th, 2017 12:54 pm[personal profile] kittydesade
I saw Wonder Woman! I had Thoughts! Spoilery spoilery thoughts )

I think I have run out of words on Wonder Woman. We went and saw a 10.30 showing because it was that or this coming Saturday due to the boy's and my schedule, ugh. We got home at 1 in the morning and went to bed at closer to 2 and ugh. But it was so worth it. I did cry at the No Man's Land scene, and several other places as the boy keeps reminding me with amusement. And there was one part towards the beginning when every woman in the audience was audibly laughing for several minutes. I'm pretty sure anyone who's seen it knows exactly the scene I mean, it was just... the shared knowledge and experience of women.

But ugh, am exhausted. I can't tell if I'm exhausted and sneezing because I'm sick or because I didn't sleep much last night and there are allergens out there. And besides that no, Elf Lord, I do not need to stand back and let the guys do the heavy lifting, I'm tired, not weak or incapable. I swear, most of the time the men in my family/at my work (one and the same these days anyway) are okay about such things but sometimes they take the weirdest streak of "no, let me lift that."

Dude. You literally hired me to be your shipper/handler and sling the heavy boxes. What up with that.

Probably driven by my lack of sleep I did PitMad on twitter and got not one but two bites at the apple on the first round of tweets so, um, yay? I have no idea about one publishing company but the other at least looks solid. I'm leaving out the book currently in a state of [redacted] and all the older books that I haven't looked at in ages and probably could use a rewrite because I was a different writer ages ago. Yeah, we'll leave those out. But still. Turing Shrugged got a bite. Long Road got a bite. Two different books got bites, what even. I'll do another round of tweets tonight I guess. What the hell right? Apparently this is the year for unexpected metaphorical heart attacks. Better than literal ones.

Um. Okay, for my own future reference it seems like it's thirty minutes from the inciting event to where I can calm down and think about anything again. But in the meantime, keep working on the current projects, keep working on Helix, keep moving there, pick up... something. Pick up and try to resume normal routines? I don't even know what knocked them out of whack this time. No, wait, I do, birthday week festivities. So, all right. Pick languages back up next week, I think with Arabic it's about time to start on the grammar if I can flip through the alphabet book this weekend and determine that I'm as good on the letters as I'm going to get without attaching them to words regularly. And sort through my mental Workshop, and away we go.

I mean none of these nibbles might turn into anything but boy it's exciting isn't it!

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