We Who Are About To Post

I think it's about time I wrote an entry, especially seeing as how I did stuff last week; 'stuff' being read as 'a course in bar work, waiting, functions, and coffee'.

Mmmmmcoffee.

About the only actual learning involved (for me, anyway) was using a proper coffee machine, pulling beer, and rather a bit about wines. The good news was that drinking was compulsory, from the dry, fruity horror of a chardonnay or the sweetness of a noble riesling to the merry alcoholic fun of a long island iced tea.

And that's about all there is for me to say at the moment. Chances are that over the next few days, I'll go back through a few things from the last couple of weeks and finish what I was planning to do with them.

Memetheft

This one's been nicked from princesslaurene. Everybody wave to her.

[Poll #611208]

Which Five Fictional Characters Would You Punch In The Face?

The aim of this aptly named meme is to give a list of five fictional characters who you'd very much like to punch in the face; we'll take it as a kindness if you get to mentioning why. They'd best not make any undue fuss, otherwise violence will ensue.

1. Gabriel Tam
   (Joss Whedon's Firefly)
   
   There was always going to be a Firefly character on the receiving end of this, but the trick was in picking one. None of the crew really deserve it - except possibly Jayne, who's already been knocked out by River. There's obvious choices - Atherton Wing, Laurence Dobson, Badger, Adelai Niska and Crow all spring to mind, but they need a lot more than just a punch. Lund makes me want to put a new crater in his little moon - but Zoe's whapped him in the face well enough already. Magistrate Higgins could do with a bit of punching, but I'd very much like to see Fess take care of the formalities there.
   
   When it comes to punching, there's one particular target that stands out. A target who wouldn't risk even a dinner party for River. Someone so thoroughly in need of punching that there's a queue all the way around the ruttin' equator of Osiris. A target who makes me add cussing and hurling about of things, as Mal would put it, to my prodigous repertoire.
   
   If ever you find yourself fictionally punching Gabriel Tam, give him an extra one for me.


2. Rincewind
   (Terry Pratchett's Discworld)
   
   Rincewind. Rincewind needs to run afoul of a halfbrick in a sock, or a closed fist should bricks be in short supply. I think the reasons should be fairly obvious; the 流口水的婊子和猴子的笨兒子 is in desperate need of a sound beating.


3. Caramon Majere
   (Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's Dragonlance Legends)
   
   Caramon Majere in the Chronicles is the kind of character who doesn't irritate you too much. By the time we reach the Legends, he's married Tika Waylan and then gotten himself good and drunk on what might as well be a permanent basis. He feels a lack of self-worth, and that's made worse when he's not needed to save the world or look after Raistlin.
   
   Punching him serves two purposes. One is to tell him to wake up to himself. The other is that he's depressed because Tika has a job and doesn't need him. Maybe a second punch would help.


4. The Architect
   (Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series)
   
   Whatever was she thinking? I just want to know that. Why did she appoint those seven as Trustees? Why didn't she make sure there was an heir before going for a merry trip to somewhere and leaving her Will in those hands? There's answers somewhere, and I want them right this instant otherwise I'll leave her in a room with Holden Caulfield forever.


5. Boromir, Captain of Gondor
   (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings)
   
   If it is the will of the council, then Gondor will see me take the ring for myself as a weapon bwahahahahahahahahaha... um... I mean... we'll take it to where we can destroy all of Sauron's armies and then the rest of the world and... um... no. Totally not going crazy. Nice, friendly, and lovable, so you needn't worry and he should just give me the ring nownownownownownow. He vanished! OMGWTFFrodocomeback! Oh no! Orcses! I'm dead and I failed to take the ring ring riiiiinnng.
   
   Obviously, his punching needs to come before he gets corpsified. Like, maybe, every time they make him feel more important than Faramir Wenham, who does the right thing and gets his very own Eowyn for his troubles - a relationship that comes with the fact Eowyn can quite ably run him through if he gets all wraithified by a ring of power.