So! The Australian Government has secured quarantine powers that they're not currently planning to use. Sample powers include distribution of bottled water, shutting down hospitals, closing land borders and burning bodies surveillance of infected people and quarantine of boats and aeroplanes.

(This is what happens when you start buying symptoms too early.)

Madagascar, on the other hand, has taken the precaution of SHUTTING. DOWN. EVERYTHING.



Also, there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that doctors in the United States are practicing drawing stars in the air to slow down time. (Some want a health bonus for every correctly-performed technique.)

Date: 2009-04-29 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurenmitchell.livejournal.com
Comment 6 on this story wins.

Date: 2009-04-29 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] active-apathy.livejournal.com
The comment alone is good, but I died laughing at the "Posted by: President of Madagascar" underneath. :D

Date: 2009-04-29 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurenmitchell.livejournal.com
That's the win part!

Date: 2009-04-29 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] photosinensis.livejournal.com
Also, there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that doctors in the United States are practicing drawing stars in the air to slow down time. (Some want a health bonus for every correctly-performed technique.)

Is that what they're telling you down there? Because they're lying.

Date: 2009-04-29 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] active-apathy.livejournal.com
I'm not sure how that'd work with your health... um. System? Would an insurance company pay out for the healing touch, or does it count as an experimental procedure?

Date: 2009-04-29 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] photosinensis.livejournal.com
We call it the health clusterfuck. And Healing Touch capable doctors cost extra. Here's a breakdown: you normally go to your "primary care physician", which is a doctor that is in league with your insurance company. Because he's with them, you pay about $25. However, to go to a Healing Touch physician, you pay 80% of whatever he bills you and the insurance company fucks you over for the rest.

Most people want single payer (illud est the government) health care in this country, simply to clear things up (and the doctors would make more). However, the insurance companies have the money and keep our Congress at bay. The fact that folks like Rush Limbaugh and his ilk say that it'll take away your freedom (to pay out the ass or die) gets just enough of the populace in their corner as well.

What's immigration law like down there? Got room for an old Yank that really needs health coverage?

Date: 2009-04-29 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] active-apathy.livejournal.com
Our healthcare system is slowly turning into yours. They're trying to shove people into private insurance, but it's happening slowly - and so far, all the care I've had for my broken arm has come to the princely sum of $0.00.

But that'll doubtless be ruined too, the next time the Liberals (who are actually the conservatives) win power.

Date: 2009-04-29 01:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tajessa.livejournal.com
THANK GOD I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of Pandemic.

I'm moving to Madagascar. That bloody island never gets infected with anything.

Date: 2009-04-29 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] active-apathy.livejournal.com
You can't. The port's closed.

Date: 2009-04-29 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tajessa.livejournal.com
OH SHI--

http://hasmadagascarcloseditsport.com/ (http://hasmadagascarcloseditsport.com/)

Date: 2009-04-29 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] active-apathy.livejournal.com
ZE PORT! IT IS NOT CLOSED!

In other reassuring news: http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

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